How to Turn Self-Doubt Into Confidence With Dr. Nadia Brown

We're in the space where we let sales and success define who we are as business owners and if we're not careful, we'll let results or lack thereof take over how much we value ourselves and what we do. But, what if we turned that around and flipped it upside down a bit and approached sales, results, and success differently?

Dr. Nadia Brown is on the podcast today talking about self-doubt and how we can bust out of the "why isn't this working for me" mode and emerge into the confident coach and business owner you were meant to be.

Dr. Nadia Brown is a sales strategist, consultant, trainer, and founder of The Doyenne Agency. A sales agency that works with business owners, companies, and corporations to multiply revenue and awaken the consistent closer within your sales team using the Consistent Sales Method™. Nadia helps women learn to play the career game in business to advance their careers and professions. When it comes to sales, women come to her timid and shaky about going after the money – they leave her strategic, strong, emboldened and most importantly, paid.   Nadia brings over fifteen years of leadership experience, powerful conversations, achieving goals, and respect for people to develop a comprehensive sales process to increase closing rates and satisfied client retention. As a result, Nadia’s clients have seen tremendous results, such as raising their rates, decreasing their refund requests, and doubling or tripling their annual revenues, including helping clients increase their yearly revenue by 800%.   

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdrnadia/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheDrNadia/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drnadia/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DoyenneLeadership1

Website: https://thedoyenneagency.com/

Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00] Lindsay: Nadia. Thank you so much for being on the Booker gym clients podcast. I'm so excited to have you on today. 

[00:00:59] Dr. Nadia: Thank you for having me.

[00:01:01] Lindsay: I was excited to bring Nadia on because I do have a lot of people who listen to this podcast who are just starting and the honeymoon phase of starting your business can wear off quickly.

[00:01:15] And sometimes it can come back and you kind of go back and forth between phases of, yes, I can do this. And what the heck am I doing? Should I quit? Within a five minutes, you can go through all of those experiences. So I think it was really nice to have Dr. Nadia with us today to talk about turning self-doubt into confidence.

[00:01:37] But before we dig into that would you please introduce yourself to everyone and we'll just get the conversation rolling. Absolutely. So, 

[00:01:46] Dr. Nadia: as Lindsay mentioned, I'm Dr. Nadia Brown, I'm the leader of the Dorian agency. And we are a sales agency where we provide sales support and sales training mostly to women, business owners service-based and really helping them to just, you know, build that confidence in making their offers and inviting people to work.

[00:02:10] Lindsay: So, how did you get started with all this 

[00:02:13] Dr. Nadia: love, this question? I always say I was the least likely person to ever lead a sales agency. When I first left corporate and started my business. And like you said, I was in that honeymoon phase and I was like, oh God, this is amazing. I, I forgot about that one tiny piece called sales, realize that I hated it and I wasn't that great at it.

[00:02:40] And so after being in that space of trying to do everything, but. To grow a business and I'm failing at it utterly. I made the decision to really focus on improving my sales skills and more importantly, figuring out how to do sales naughty as way, because a lot of the training I had received, I just felt while there were nuggets and gyms, they just didn't fit me.

[00:03:04] And that was part of the reason why I didn't do it. I was able to help other team members and companies actually to do this. I had friends that looked at me and they were like, do you realize the impact that you're having doing sales? And I was like Nope, because I just did. I was so averse to sales, Lindsey.

[00:03:25] I just didn't even realize I was doing sales and I was doing it well, and I was crushing it. So. So after that and it took several years like this. I know this is a kind of a recent Innopsis that this was not an overnight journey. With the nudging of some really trusted colleagues, they were like, we really think you should consider, you know, going and sharing your journey and all the things that you learned and helping others so that they don't have to go through what you went through.

[00:03:54] So here we are. 

[00:03:58] Lindsay: The, the bow, you just type that up with, you need to go and help others so that they don't have to experience what you did. And it wasn't about you need to go make some money. And they think a lot of times we either go with dollar signs in our eyes, or we're afraid of the conversation of selling our, selling our services, our products online.

[00:04:20] We kind of go with those two things and forget that there's actually. People who need our help. And if we looked at it as you're serving people more and you're making the journey easier for them, like you took all the, you took all the, a lot of the pain and suffering of the years that it took for you to get there.

[00:04:40] And you're, you're making it shorter and shorter and sweeter for them. And it doesn't guarantee it's going to be super easy for anybody either, but it's making it easier to do. I like to look at it that way better because. It can feel really hard to go into the space of, okay, now I have to actually ask for money for something.

[00:05:00] When I have nothing to, I don't have any testimonials. I remember wondering how do people get testimonials if you haven't even worked with anybody yet, it's the same as when you're going into the job, the job space. And you're like, well, how do I have experience? If no one will give me experience? And it just you're like, well, what comes first here?

[00:05:22] And then you go back into the safe space of, well I'll, I guess I'll just redesign my website again and I'll just do all these things to preoccupy myself from actually selling, because selling is scary. Why do you think, what do you, what do you see with people who come to you? Why is selling feels so hard and so far, why are we so vulnerable when it comes to this conversation?

[00:05:47] Dr. Nadia: It is multilayered. So there is, there is this piece and a lot of us have heard it and it shows its ugly head in so many different ways, but there's the imposter syndrome. And just, am I good enough? Can I charge that? Will people pay that, you know, all those questions that come up? I also think that we as women, particularly we suffer from a serious amnesia.

[00:06:11] So. I spent all of these 

[00:06:14] Lindsay: years, whether it was in school or, you know, 

[00:06:16] Dr. Nadia: getting education or certifications or just the school of hard knocks and you know, experience, whether it looks different. Cause. Take many of the skills from our corporate careers, for those of us that work in incorporate and use those in our businesses, even if it looks different, but it's almost like we start something new and we just delete all the years.

[00:06:40] Right. So you, you do have that piece of it. And then obviously, you know, when it's really new, you're like, how do I do all of these things? But I think that's the biggest part. Is being able to separate the business of what we do, particularly when it's service-based, because a lot of times we are the ones providing the service and then us from the business, from it being a personal I, so sales and I know, and all of that feels so.

[00:07:10] Personal. That is really like, I'm just putting myself out here day after day after day to be rejected. And who wants that? No one wakes up and says, I want to be rejected. Right. I do sales for a living and I, you know, it I'm like I don't ever want to go into a sales conversation then that's not what I say.

[00:07:29] Like, oh my God, I can't wait to be rejected today. But you know, that's the reality of the world I live in. Really learning how to navigate that. And I'll also encourage people to put in your, your safety meds or your basically your protocols of how you're going to manage on those days when it sucks, right?

[00:07:52] The weather gets your coach or your mastermind community or your bestie or whatever. Right. You just know. That trust me, there are going to be days at this. Don't go the way you want them to go. And you just need to have a contingency plan that windows days happened. This is what happens. You know, I break out the chocolate, I play this song.

[00:08:11] I go get them Assad, whatever that is because you can. Allow yourself to stay in that place. We all visit that place. Like you said, sometimes we are up high at five minutes late. Just don't stay there. It's okay. The past through that's part of that's your Rite of passage as an entrepreneur, but don't say, 

[00:08:33] Lindsay: oh, we just had this conversation with my group coaching students about.

[00:08:39] Sometimes things just don't go. Actually not sometimes things never go the way you expect them to go. It's always going to be worse or better. It's never going to be exactly how you want it. And it's so hard, especially when you're just starting actually. Erase that it's hard to not take things personally when you're launching something or you write a copy for an Instagram post that you feel that was a really good to grab people's attention and get the conversation going.

[00:09:08] And no one says anything cricket. We do so many things. We put ourselves out there come instantly. How do we not take those rejections or lack thereof personally? 

[00:09:23] Dr. Nadia: It's not easy. I wish I could say it was easy, but it's not. So here are some of the things that I encourage you to do remind yourself that it's not personal.

[00:09:32] Like you have to constantly have that conversation with yourself. Like Nadia, this is not personal. Like these are conversations I literally have. This is not personal. It is not about you. And then also. One of the resources I created is what I call a courage diary, because I feel like in sales, we don't give ourselves enough credit for the fact that we had the courage to put ourselves out there in the first place.

[00:09:52] There's so much emphasis on, get the sale, get the sale, get the sale. I get that that's important, but it takes a lot, like you said, and in that conversation to even put yourself out there. And one of the things that I invite people to do after every sales conversation, especially in the beginning, Is to write down the emotions that are coming up.

[00:10:16] What are the emotions that are coming up? What are the stories that are coming up? Because a lot of times the stories and the things that we're feeling have absolutely nothing to do with the person we just spoke with is some, some stuff and baggage that we brought from our past. And so. As you do more of those conversations and you start to really see the patterns, then you can take the necessary steps to catch yourself and say, oh wait, you know, like this isn't about me.

[00:10:46] This is about that time in third grade when I was on some of the weirdest stuff comes up during these conversations. So I think, you know, one of the things that I encourage women to do is to not allow our emotions to get in the way And to really just focus on that connection and that relationship, because that helps to not take it so personal.

[00:11:07] And the other thing is when you're talking about your services in a sales conversation to really. Not make it about you. So that's why we give our programs a name. Right? So you're almost like in that space of talking about your program as if it worked, because technically it is like this tangible things separate from you.

[00:11:31] And while you get to be a part of. It's not you. And so the more you practice that and just go through those exercises and how coaches like yourself to remind you that is not, you is not about you and really to to go through that. But I think practice is going to be the biggest thing is not going to happen overnight.

[00:11:50] Lindsay: No, it's not. And we're, we're in the space of where we get on calls with people a lot. And we. Are excited because we're one step closer to that contract being signed and that first payment coming in. And it's, you're almost holding your breath from the moment the discovery call application pops in your inbox all the way until the, you go onto your first call with a client.

[00:12:17] That's the lifestyle that we, that we lead. And sometimes I think, gosh, are we crazy? Because. We live for those moments. And the second that new client comes on that zoom call with the start of the contract. We're wondering when the next one's coming in. And we're always wondering when the next one's coming in and over and over and over and over.

[00:12:39] And that is a lifestyle that yes, we're S we signed up for. So if we also aren't signed up for the part where it's not always going to go our way, then. That's not a fun business to run. And in my opinion, yes, you are going to get people who are going to say, well, I guess I'm not going to work with you because of this or maybe later.

[00:13:04] And that's okay. It almost is you have to just roll it off your shoulder. And I like how Nadia brought up, he's gonna, you're gonna be tapping into some old memories of, you know, rejection or not feeling like you're good enough. That was a big part of my. My entrepreneur. What do they say? It's like the biggest personal development course you're ever going to have to do.

[00:13:26] And that was me growing up was like, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I never really wanted to hang out with my peers because I, I kind of just wanted to hang out with my grandma and just pretend that I was sick all the time. So I could just go over to my ground. I was, I just got, so that was my life.

[00:13:43] And that's. And it makes me giggle when I think about it, but my poor grandma always having to come get me and make me food, but I just, I just never like felt accepted around the people my age. And so when you are an adult and you're putting yourself out there, again, it kind of in a childish way, like, cause it's new again to you and people are like, well, no, not, not, not today.

[00:14:08] I don't want to buy your program today. I don't want to work with you today. Scratch scratching the scabs again. And it hurts because you're like, oh yeah, I remember how it felt to not want to be one by somebody right at this moment. And then you have to heal those. You have to heal those wounds that you had a long time ago and who would have thought we would have to dig back into oh yeah.

[00:14:33] When I was six, this happened, or I remember at recess, this happened. But it is a part of that. And if you're just listening to this and you're like, what are you talking about, Lindsay? What do you mean? My coaching business has to do with me being in second grade. It has everything to do with experiences that you had.

[00:14:51] You were a little everything. 

[00:14:54] Dr. Nadia: Yes. Oh my gosh. Everything I think, you know, to add to that Lindsay, some of the trainings, at least at our scene, the things that I've heard, that we sometimes internalize. Is like, you know, we almost, don't not almost, and many times we don't believe what people say. So for example, if someone were to say, oh my gosh, Lindsay, I would totally love to work with you.

[00:15:19] However, right now I just, I don't know how I would afford that. Right. We've been conditioned in a lot of cases to be like, they're just making it up and then we make it about us. Right. They're not telling us the truth. They're just making this up. And then we internalize it. And so I encourage people. One is possible.

[00:15:41] They're telling us. It to, you know, ask more questions, you know, tell me more about that. It's not to be weird about it, but there are times when I'm just like, well, okay. That's fair. Cause some of our programs right. Are sizable investments. Right? And it's like, well, are you open to maybe brainstorming on ways that we could, you could come up with the investment to work with me?

[00:16:05] And if they say yes, then you know that they're in it, right? So there are ways to kind of do a little bit more digging without being manipulative or making a high pressure sales. But I think we also have to really deprogram ourselves from thinking that people are always be a dishonest. Like sometimes people are them.

[00:16:29] There are those that are dishonest, like dishonest people exist. But a lot of times the people that we attract that take the time to fill out the form to schedule the call, actually show up to the call are not those people. We just have to figure out, like, how do we really uncover maybe some of their concerns, some of their fears that may be there, even if they don't, aren't able to make the investment right now and always say, this is just the beginning, we're just beginning our relationship.

[00:17:01] And so thank you so much for making the time to have this conversation with. But we're not going to like, not talk ever again or communicate you're on my newsletter list. You may be in my Facebook group, you know, you may come to future events because I cannot tell you how many times I've talked to people and they've come back when they were ready, when everything made sense, whether it was the investment, the timing, the whatever.

[00:17:26] And they said, yes. And we have the opportunity to work together. 

[00:17:30] Lindsay: I think that that opens the door for. Not today, but maybe tomorrow or maybe next year. And that happens a lot. It really does. And we don't have to just live for the moment in our business for the yeses for it to happen. Right now. I always say, this is the.

[00:17:48] Frustrating advice I can give you, but you have to have patience with everyone and, and yourself. Because it's, it's not, it's not about you. And that's not fun. That's not a fun business strategy, but it is the most important one to have as we all are in this for the long run. This is not a get rich quick thing.

[00:18:08] And if that's what you're in for. Wrong podcast, but I assume you're not listening to this by now anyway. But when we are talking to somebody, let's say they go, let's go, let's say we're coaching. And she just had her first discovery call with a potential client. And like, they've done all the things.

[00:18:33] I've checked all the boxes, they would be perfect. And they just decided it's not, it's not right for them. And so this coach is totally making it about her because she's human and she just hasn't had the experience yet. Okay, how else can I help her? And how else can I have a conversation with her?

[00:18:54] She's not thinking that way. She's thinking, what did I do wrong? And when, when is this going to happen for me? That's where she is in. So how can you talk to her? 

[00:19:04] Dr. Nadia: Oh, I would give her a hug. I would probably ask her some more questions, you know, like. What other reasons might someone not say yes today?

[00:19:14] What are some of the fears or concerns that, you know, she might have had about saying yes to working with you? And then also, are you going to be here tomorrow? Right? Like, you know, like I think sometimes with sales, we just don't give ourselves enough time. And I say, we, because Lord knows I am so guilty of this.

[00:19:33] I am that go, go, go. I had an idea. Let's slam on the gas 90 miles per hour. And I was like, what? So I think that there's that piece. I also encourage people to think before. Right? So you, before you go into the conversation, start to think about all the reasons why someone might. We hesitate to take that next step.

[00:19:56] And a lot of times it's so easy because all we have to do is think about the time that we made those investments and, you know, working with a coach or, or consultant or whatever. Right. Think about how you would address those even before you get to the investment. Right? So you're having a conversation.

[00:20:13] We're bringing out like we're doing right now, bringing all these different stories, make it supernatural. And then once you get to the investment, it's a different feeling. They still may say not right now. But then I think is also important. And this is a lot of times where we drop the ball is after the.

[00:20:33] What happens next? So that could be some type of followup and it is so, and so let me, oh my gosh, for the listeners, because I know every time I say this, most people like Dr. Nadia, does this mean I have to call them constantly and bud them, the answer is no. And honestly you can even ask the like, Lizzie, what is your preferred way?

[00:20:56] For us to continue this conversation or it's continue to stay connected. Do you prefer email? Do you prefer text messaging or phone call? Like you can ask that question and then put together some sort of sequence. I recommend it. It's a combination. Whether it's phone calls, emails, text messages, snail mail.

[00:21:12] I know. Hello. I'm dating myself with people doing put stamps on stuff and drop it in a mailbox. Too, because you're thinking about it. And I would encourage her to just think about how she would continue to build upon this relationship in how, what are the things that she learned during that conversation about this person that still excites her about working with them?

[00:21:38] And to hold onto that energy in her followup and creating that sequence and this reminding. So I think, you know, when we're having a conversation, so for example one of my clients that we did Salesforce at her, one of her events, one of the people, so she worked with, she works with network marketers and this particular person was like, oh my gosh, I cannot.

[00:22:01] My goal is to make director by industry. Great. Well, it's now, you know, a new year. So a great thing to do would be to follow up and say, Hey, you know, did you make, you know, our congratulations in order? Did you make director right? When it showed you listen. But to if for whatever reason she didn't, she might not be a little bit more open to getting the support she needs.

[00:22:27] So that the end of this year, she doesn't have the same result. And I think sometimes. We just don't make the time to really think about what happens after the call, after the yes. And after the not now or the no, and how we will continue to build upon that relationship so that when people are ready, they're like, I am totally hiring Lindsay because she gets me.

[00:22:51] Lindsay: I love that you brought that up because it is where people drop the ball. And I feel like a lot of it is intentional. They're like, I'll just. I'll just see what happens and okay. But what if that person is like, yeah, I'm sure she'll reach out to me and let me know my next steps. And then when you.

[00:23:11] They're wondering, oh, they must have time for me. Or would they don't want to work with me? Think about how they feel like for me, I need, tell me what to do. Just like get, tell me what's next all the time. I always tell my husband that just tell me what to do. And I will do it. You want to work outside?

[00:23:28] Do you want to clean the kitchen? Just tell me. I'll do it. And a lot of people have that, especially in our space, they just tell me, give me a list and I'm, and I'm in it. But when we get off that zoom call and you're like, all right, I'll leave it up to God or the universe or whatever you're calling it.

[00:23:46] Yeah, but God also wants you to take action and tell them what to do. And, but we're afraid to get that email. That's going to say, well, I'll think about it. Or maybe you won't get a response who cares. At least the ball is in their court then. And I, I think that is a big thing. It's like an intentional negligence of following up, because you're afraid of what they're going to say.

[00:24:09] Dr. Nadia: Yeah, and we don't want to be a bother and we don't want to, you know, all the things that come up and I always tell people, sales is a long game. I know that we've seen it. We've been to the events. And one of the things that we do a lot is backroom sales. So trust me, I've been to those. So it makes an offer and it feels like you're about to be bumrushed right.

[00:24:26] People are running around. I've also been to events where that hasn't happened and it's not that sales weren't made, but people just need a time to sleep on it. They need a time, you know, like they just flow differently. And I think it's important to also understand. Your audience. So even for myself, when we invite, make an extended, an invitation, I give my, I give myself the time and then I freak out all at the same time, Lindsay, I'm like, oh my gosh.

[00:24:55] It's like, you know, and then people will come back and they're like, oh, well I was thinking about it. I already had it on my calendar, you know, had to make sure we got things in place and that whole time, because they haven't taken the action and they hadn't hit the buy button or whatever. I'm over here having my own personal Laila and it's like, Nadia, Nadia, stop it.

[00:25:13] You know, you did this for a reason to give people the space and then you turn around and you freak out because they're leveraging the space that you gave, I think is really important to disrespect people's buying process. And to also just understand your community, some communities move different than others, but I think is important.

[00:25:35] That we really understand that. And respect in the buying process is really huge, but like you said, I love it. And digital negligent, it's so true. Where are we just get an attitude? Can we just be honest, you get attitude, ballpark that she was not ready today. And it's like, seriously, get yourself together.

[00:25:54] She, her own fears, her own insecurity. And your job is to really position yourself as that trusted friend. I always tell people when you think about sales, think about having a coffee or tea with a friend and yeah. Having that energy going into the conversation and continuing the conversation afterwards.

[00:26:21] So take copious notes and figure out ways to really continue to build that relationship. You don't have coffee with a friend and did buy, never speak to them again. It's just not the thing. And we, some times just, we divorced ourselves from that thought process. This one conversation is the end all be all.

[00:26:43] And if I don't close the sale and this one conversation, my life is over my business is over. I'm a terrible, like all the stories we tell ourselves is just not true. It's just not true. People need time. People need space, and there's just been a lot of times people they're jaded or they're a lot more cautious.

[00:27:04] They may have already had a, you know, a negative experience. And the more that you can really show them through your actions and your words and their experience with you, even in the sales process. It really helps once they become a client and then it increases the loyalty and increases your referrals.

[00:27:27] It increases how long they work with you. Like it really does make a day. 

[00:27:33] Lindsay: I so agree with that. And I love that you brought up, you know, think about their buying process. And if you don't know what their buying processes or you don't even have anyone who's ever, you can't, you're not there yet. Think about yours.

[00:27:46] If you're selling a program for a thousand dollars or $27, five, 10, whatever it is, think about the last time you bought something at that price. And I hope. That you have also invested in that amount. I think you have to invest in that amount of money before you ask for that, in my opinion. So I would never say, oh, I think everyone should spend $10,000 to work with me, but I've only spent $45 on my business.

[00:28:12] I like can ask for that. So if I think about, you know, I put out a program for a thousand dollars and. I'm wondering why isn't anyone buying it? Well, let me think. The last time I bought a program for a thousand dollars, how did I get to that point? When did they meet that person online? How long did I have to be nurtured by that person?

[00:28:33] What kind of research did I do? How many times did I go to their website? Did I buy something smaller first? Like, think about that whole journey that you had with the things that you bought with the coaches you invested in with all the, all the. And if you're not mapping that out for your people, well, you're missing a big chunk of the map 

[00:28:55] Dr. Nadia: there.

[00:28:56] Huge. Oh my gosh, Lindsay, I don't remember. I remember the first time I invested $30,000 in a program. Right. I was like, I shall never tell my husband.

[00:29:13] He shall never know. I just said yes to this, but you're oh my gosh, the things that I had to go through and all the doubts and the fears, and even after I said yes, wanting to pick up the phone and be like, nevermind, I know I just sign it three may burn it. I'm just like, it was yes. And I just recently had a sales conversation with someone.

[00:29:41] The investment is a little bit higher. I think it's I don't know the math right off the top of my head, but things around 30, the investment is 3,500 a month, whatever that is times. Well I was like, okay, all right. I don't think we're going to move forward with it. And here's why though, it's not that it wasn't a great investment.

[00:30:00] I thoroughly enjoy the sales process. However, we already have a lot of those things on my team currently. And so it would be a lot of redundance or I would have to release, you know, let go of people that I actually enjoy working with all this. So that's the reason why, but it has absolutely nothing to do with them.

[00:30:21] You know what they're doing is great is definitely something we could use. And it just highlighted some areas of improvement and things that we could do a little bit differently. But it was just like, God, I want to take this step and do this. But if I did, it would just kind of upset the apple cart.

[00:30:37] You know, we've already worked so hard to build and I think it's an important, you know that people understand, like that was a decision and it wasn't now don't get me wrong. It's a significant investment, right. At the same time, it was like, right. Don't make some of those things. And I was honest with you doing that as sales process.

[00:30:56] Like, like, you know, a lot of this we're already doing, we may not be doing it as well as we could be ready to kind of evaluate where we are in the. And whether or not that makes the best, you know, the most the best sense for us at this time. And then I could follow up. And so hopefully they don't take it personal once we have that final conversation at this time.

[00:31:17] But I think, like you said to really just think about that. Your person and what that process looks like. And, you know, you know, at this point I'll work with business owners that have teams and it's a lot sometimes to start, no, I got it. Or at least this person and that person or move this person. And I worked so hard to find my team.

[00:31:37] I'm like, no, we're not doing that. We'll, we'll figure out a different way. 

[00:31:43] Lindsay: Thinking about that in another way, you worked so hard to build your team and you'll it just, you know, it's not right for you at this time. Think about that. When someone is treating a $35,000 investment for you, if this might be a thousand dollars for somebody as big of an impact.

[00:32:02] And so we have to respect all the things that are going on in someone's life. Because you're just not ready for them right now. And that's okay. We have no idea what people are going through, what what's coming to them, what they foresee, what they need. Financially, emotionally, all that stuff. We have no idea.

[00:32:23] And sometimes I think that we get into kind of the lack of better words, a spoiled brat mode when things don't go our way when we're launching or we put out anything. Hands on our heads. We didn't get what we wanted. Well, I'm just going to take it personally and play my violin and yeah. And like Nadia said, we can pass through that, but we have to keep going.

[00:32:50] We can't just sit there. And I think we just need some tough love sometimes and saying, get over it and keep going. And you have two choices. Quit. Keep going. It's totally up to you. There is no magical thing. There just isn't and it is a muscle that we're going to have to constantly work on to build. And there isn't a magical affirmation.

[00:33:13] Maybe it's because I'm not feeling well and maybe I'm just being like, you know what? You guys, we have to just build up that muscle and we have to be tough. And Compassionate with other people when they say no to, I think, I think the world needs a lot more compassion and the internet needs a lot more compassion.

[00:33:32] So why don't we take a twist on that and say, you know what, let's just be compassionate with people who say no to us too, and be different for them. And I think that in the long run, it will work out that's that's where I'm, that's where I'm at right now with that. And that feels good. I like that strategy rather than always trying to think of what I did wrong and, you know, breaking out the numbers and all this stuff.

[00:33:54] And sometimes it's like, maybe, maybe God didn't want me to be booked out right now. Or maybe God, maybe I have to be somewhere else for the next three months. I'm okay with that. I'm just here for the ride. 

[00:34:07] Dr. Nadia: Oh my God. So I just feel led to share this story right now because I think someone needs to hear.

[00:34:14] I'm trying not to cry. So there was a season. And I remember speaking with one of my mentors because it made no sense and things just were not going right. But it also, I was feeling lid to just say no to some projects and some things, and I'm going to go get her, let's do it all. Let's do all the things.

[00:34:34] Right. And and I was like, I don't know, this just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm making the right decisions right now. And things are just where they need to be. Although they look nothing like I want them to live and fast forward, I would say maybe two or three months, if even that long, I get a call one day that my mom had had a massive stroke and I live in Arizona.

[00:34:59] My mother lives in Florida and I was like, what? So the next day I was on a flight to Florida. To be with my mom and I was able to be there for five weeks before we made, while she recovered and was cleared to fly. And then she flew back here and stayed with us for another 10 months during her recovery.

[00:35:23] Yeah, it's just one of those things that you just never know. And so there were things that I had to say no to whether it was on the investment side or on the, except in the client side, because I needed this. To just to be in this new role of caregiver and not to mention I had a five-year-old that was at home because she couldn't go to school.

[00:35:46] Like there were just so many things. And so I think it's really important that yeah, sometimes it doesn't look the way we want it to look, but we have to give ourselves the space. And a gray stuff also deal with the lifestyle that life throws at us. And there was no way there was no warning. There was no heads up, Hey, you know, in July, this is going to happen to your mom.

[00:36:09] You might want to prepare, like there was none of that. And so to your point, I think that sometimes we just really have to take a step back and say, you know, this isn't as bad as I'm making it out to being, like you said earlier, it's not just about. And one of the things that I'm so grateful for that, and having my business is the flexibility and the time freedom.

[00:36:31] It affords me when things like that happen where I'm not stressed out about losing my job, because I'm not going to be back at work, sir, or ma'am before, you know, in months. And I think that that's also important to just, you know, give extended grace to everyone, including your. 

[00:36:50] Lindsay: Thank you for sharing that story.

[00:36:51] I think it's it almost, it just puts everybody back into reality a little bit to hear stories like that because it's the, we're not always sitting in our office. Sometimes we picture all of our mentors and coaches online, sitting in their office. Just, you know, Manning the station because that's where we see them on stories or on video or whatever.

[00:37:12] And that's, we don't picture them outside of that. It's almost like when you were little and you would see your teacher at the store and you're like, whoa, she's real. She actually does human things. Like, yes, we go through stuff with family and ourselves and there's, we there's so many other parts of our lives.

[00:37:29] That we also need space for, and you, sometimes you're going to need a lot more energy for your kids. And we don't even know it, something, you know, might happen. God forbid where you're just gonna have to spend extra time with them, or we just don't know. And we, we are so not in charge here at all at all.

[00:37:48] We have to stop pretending that we are and just smile and know that we will be taken care of. And it's not all about. What we want, really? It really isn't. I think this is just like a fun thing that we get to do. We get to do it right. And we're so lucky we can and it's so important to surround yourself with people like, like Nadia or myself who I think maybe I'll be bold and say, We have to have a more realistic approach to business too.

[00:38:20] And I think we need that sometimes because it's not all like, Hey, just go find some change in your couch and sit there and manifested the business of your dreams. That's not how it works. No, it's not how it works. It might be fun to do as a fun 21 little day project, but it's not, that's not what it is.

[00:38:37] It's not, it's so much more than that.

[00:38:42] Nadia, how can everyone find out more about you and what you deal with your agency? 

[00:38:48] Dr. Nadia: Yeah. So our website is the Dorian agency. Thank God for show notes, right? Because no one can ever smell. But we also have a quiz that I think is really fun called discover your sales blind spot. And so you can find that@discoveryoursalesblindspot.com and on most social media, we're on Instagram and Twitter at, I am backtrack.

[00:39:12] Lindsay: Love it. We will put all of those links in the show notes. Of course. Thank you for spending time with us. I'm really grateful for everything, your stories, your wisdom, much appreciated. And I think everyone will love this episode to 

[00:39:25] Dr. Nadia: thank you. Thanks so much for having me