How to Stand Out Online When You're an Introvert With Sandra Possing
Does the online space feel more accommodating to the extroverts? Showing up online as an introvert can feel pretty intimidating. There are so many things that can make us want to hit the off switch. But what if there was a better way? A more comfortable way to show up online and feel confident at the same time.
On this episode of the Book Your Dream Clients podcast I'm chatting with Sandra Possing all about how to stand out online as an introvert. We're digging deep into the characteristics of an introvert, what they need in order to be their best selves, and how to choose the strategies that work best for them.
Sandra is a life coach, speaker, entrepreneur, and digital nomad.
She was born in Sweden, raised in LA, and is based in the San Francisco Bay Area when she's not traveling the world with her husband and running her business from her laptop.
As a shy and quiet kid growing up - who was often self-conscious about being so sensitive - but also a high achiever with big dreams, Sandra understands the challenge of trying to get ahead in a loud and fast-moving world.
She is committed to inspiring, empowering, and lifting up the introverts, empaths, and other sensitive types who know they're meant to be, do, and have more. Sandra's journey of overcoming people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-doubt, coupled with her lifelong passion for personal development, years of empowering folks through fitness, and a decade of coaching and mentoring hundreds through her private practice make her uniquely qualified to be the go-to life and empowerment coach for high achieving introverts and empaths.
Follow Sandra on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandrapossing/
Check out her website: sandrapossing.com
Episode Transcript:
[00:00:00] Lindsay: Sandra. Thank you so much for being on the Booker dream claims podcast. I am so excited to talk to you.
[00:01:00] Sandra: I am so thrilled to be here. Love, love riffing on these topics.
[00:01:06] Lindsay: I know that my audience if you guys have ever listened to me at all, you know, that I am the definition of an introvert and it was so freeing when I discovered what an introvert really was years back.
[00:01:20] And I talk about it a lot and I think it's really important to hear other people's perspective in online business about. What it means to be an introvert, how to stand out cause it can feel really lonely. I know my favorite place to be in the room is in the back observing. But when we're, when we have to take care of people online and we want to be front and center in certain moments, it's hard to adapt to that situation, especially when you don't realize that you have amazing superpowers as an introvert.
[00:01:47] So I'm excited to speak with Sandra about this. So why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself and we will get the conversation started. Absolutely.
[00:01:55] Sandra: Well, I can say that that's such a core piece of my identity too. I'm like, hi, I'm Sandra, I'm an introvert. I can put myself like that, but I am a life coach based here in the bay area in California.
[00:02:07] And I've been in business for a decade, which is really weird to say that makes me feel like a dinosaur grandmother and coaching space. But I love. Inspiring and empowering the humans on the internet and in person. And I love helping people create extraordinary lives that they love and manifest their dream lives.
[00:02:25] And such a big part of that, or a huge part of my teaching really is authenticity and alignment and like kind of, I love guiding people back home to themselves. So I think a lot of us have, you know, been led astray throughout our lives for so many different reasons and a big part of my own journey for that was.
[00:02:44] Recognizing and embracing, being an introvert and being an HSP, a highly sensitive person, I'm an empath and all of that. And like, Making myself bad or wrong and trying to change it, but just like really honoring it and building it into everything that I do, including how I run my business and how I coach my clients and how I am with my friends and all of that.
[00:03:05] So yeah, this topic is very near and dear to my heart today.
[00:03:09] Lindsay: Let's go back to, I like her, you said I've been doing this for 10 years. I had a reality check last night, I was writing an email. And I wanted to write in there that I've been doing this since, before zoom was a thing. And I thought I got to go check when zoom first started.
[00:03:23] And it was 2011. I'm like, yep. I've been doing this. And since before zoom was a thing. So don't worry. I'm here. I'm a fellow dinosaur here too. Okay. So now that we dated ourselves and we can move forward one of the things that I would like to start out with is going back into like the days where we took.
[00:03:41] In the 17 magazines and the teen magazines. And how do you know if you are an introvert? I think the HSP falls into that for sure. One of my favorite books, I can't remember the author was describing to the T what an HSP is, but introvert is a great place to start. I think. How do you know if you're even an introvert?
[00:03:59] What are some characteristics of yourself? So we can. Solidify that and then move in.
[00:04:06] Sandra: So I think that for people who are new to the ideas of introvert versus extrovert, they, they might, they, the easiest assumption would be to think, oh, an extrovert is outgoing and an introvert is shy. And I would say that in some cases that might kind of be true sometimes, but mostly that.
[00:04:25] It's kind of a, a huge misunderstanding of the whole thing. One of the most helpful ways that I heard it described, this is way back in the day. A friend of mine who is a total extrovert, said it's less about being outgoing versus shy. It's more about where are you getting your energy and how you process information.
[00:04:44] And that really landed for me, cause it was like, okay, where, where are you get your energy? So I'm thinking about another friend right now. I have. Is probably the most extroverted human being that I've ever encountered. And, you know, he's the kind of person who can talk to any about anybody, about anything at any time.
[00:05:00] And when he's talking to humans, He just lights up like a light bulb. And if you put him in a room by himself with no one to talk to, he will shrivel like a sad flower immediately. And so people who get their energy from being around people and kind of need that and want that on a pretty consistent basis.
[00:05:18] And a lot more of it are more on the extroverted side, whereas people who are introverted tend to get their energy from. Not that from alone time, maybe from quiet, maybe from spending like quality me-time I guess I would say. And I think it's also helpful to recognize that a lot of us are not on one end of the spectrum or the other we're somewhere in the middle.
[00:05:41] Like I would consider myself an extroverted introvert, but definitely on the introvert side. And in terms of getting my energy from. Being solo or being yeah, basically quietly with myself. The more I honor that the more I get my energy from that, the more I can then go over to the other side of the spectrum and I can go be a total networking boss.
[00:06:02] I can speak on a stage. I can be the life of the party. If I've charged my battery, which I need to do by myself. And then the opposite for somebody like my super extroverted friend, like just wants to be around people as much as possible because that totally lights them up. And like being alone would be boring, you know?
[00:06:19] And then on the other side of how we process information, I think is interesting. The friend who described this to me said she was a blogger and she was like, I process externally. She used to blog about really bad dates. She would go on before she found her person. And she's hilarious. And she's.
[00:06:34] The whole reason I have this blog is because I need to process my experiences on these bad dates. And I can't do that in my own brain by myself. I have to write it out or I have to lean over into the cubicle next to me and talk to my coworker about it. And while talking or writing it out, that's how I process.
[00:06:51] And I think about those of us who are more on the introverted side, like I will say. And journal for days about something. Or I like yesterday, I took myself on a walk because I was overthinking something and I talked to myself out loud on the whole walk. I looked like, lose my mind, but it's that solo time of processing.
[00:07:10] And then I can come back and feel a little bit settled about something. So I really think that where we get our energy and how we process information, and I think there's more to it than that, but those two things really had like kind of clicked in my brain.
[00:07:22] Lindsay: What I felt like that I like that it's like a second level definition of it.
[00:07:25] Cause you do think, oh, you're shy. You're an introvert. For me, I, I am not shy when it comes to being in my comfort zone and I think introverts are really, always want to be comfortable. And I always say entrepreneurs, coaches. Our great in this business, if you are an introvert, because you operating from your comfort zone from your home, from your office, everything around you is yours and that's ultimately what I've always wanted.
[00:07:51] So that feels really good to me. And it's, it doesn't mean that we always want to be by ourselves. We, we still need that connection. But it's how, like Sandra said is how we recharge our batteries. I recharge my batteries because I, by having a lot of alone time and alone time to me for Lindsay is just being home with my family.
[00:08:13] It doesn't mean I need to go lock myself in a room and, and be, have my alone time. That's. Pretty much impossible, but it's, it is what it is for everybody. Everyone's different. So when you, we, when we step into a role online and we know that we need to do things like podcast interviews, going live and doing webinars and doing things that put us way out of our comfort zone, how, how can we even.
[00:08:38] Let's put our toes in the water. If we've never been doing that in our real true physical lives. How could we do that
[00:08:45] Sandra: online? Oh my gosh. So what you just said also sparked a third thing, but can I just say one more thing about chain? So when you were saying like you just want to be home with your family and I recognize that what, I think another huge quality about introverts it's it's about the kinds of connections.
[00:09:01] That energize us. So like my friend, the super extrovert can talk to anybody about anything and be energized by it. Whereas if I talk to someone like you like this, I'm going to walk away from this. And I'm probably going to do laps around my house because I'm going to be so lit up and energized. If I'm having deep, meaningful conversations, especially where I can like look someone in the eye or we're talking about things that are like important to them or to me, I get energized.
[00:09:24] Put me at a dinner party where everyone is doing small talk and I will just like be turning it down into my chair and I'm exhausted when I go home. And so it's also, I think a lot of us introverts, we, you know, we're, we're, we're not as good at small talk and we really like to go deep and all and connect, maybe like connect more one-on-one with someone.
[00:09:45] So that can be another place to get our energy. If we are with people, it's just like finding the meaningful conversations versus the more surface stuff. Learning how to speak the language to small talk. It definitely helpful us put forth myself to speak the language, but, okay. So to answer your question of like, how do we, how do we then go do that online on the chin?
[00:10:07] So I think the biggest learning for me, and I've seen this with a lot of my clients, too. Many of whom are introverts is. More than anything. It's about managing our own energy. I love the term energy hygiene sounds. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like a personal care concentration better, you know, there's a lot of talk about self care and yada, yada, I think all that's super important.
[00:10:31] I'm a huge proponent of like radical self-care. But if we want to show up, so know, I think it's helpful to be clear on how do we want to show up online? Like, I had a big conversation with my husband the other day about like some getting into doing reels for the first time. And I was like, what's my brand on reels, you know?
[00:10:46] And he's like, isn't it, isn't it just you? And I was like, yes, but like what, what is it that I want to pull out of myself? Because if I just show up in like, I don't want it to be just one flavor of me. I want to show all the flavors, you know the only way that I can show up as kind of my most in my power, authentic unapologetic magnetic version of myself is if I have absolute baller, energy management and hygiene.
[00:11:11] And I think that looks completely different for all of us. Like I think if we're depleted, if we're sleep deprived, if we're stressed, if we're not eating well, if we're not moving our bodies, all those things. When we show up on the internet and try to do a live, or even just write a post or coach a client or whatever it is we're doing, we're not going to be anywhere close to our best selves or in our power.
[00:11:32] If we're coming from that really depleted place. You know, it's not just like self care basics, like sleep and movement and nutrition and all of that, which I think a lot of us forget about, but it's things like, you know, what is going to have me show up as the most energized grounded version of myself and beyond the basics of self-care.
[00:11:52] I look at things like, am I honoring my passions? Am I. Spending that quality time. I like with people rather than just having small talk with strangers. Am I like for me doing mindset work and journaling and like tapping into my version of spirituality and meditating and visualizing and that kind of stuff.
[00:12:10] That to me is a huge Energizer. And then when I don't do it, I feel kind of sad, you know? Am I prioritizing pleasure, which could be. My little coffee ritual in the morning, holding the mug and smelling the coffee. I like freak out with pleasure. Every time I have my coffee, things that help me tap into my central like turned on tuned in wild woman.
[00:12:32] Version of myself helps me show up and be more visible and be the version of myself. That's like my most empowered self online.
[00:12:43] Lindsay: I wonder if it's so hard for introverts or maybe just online coaches in general to be themselves online because they're not. Practicing energy hygiene. Right? Because do you remember when you first started, like you lived in breathe your business, you were just building it and doing all the things and waking up and going to bed late with, with your business on your mind.
[00:13:08] You pushed all that, the self care, taking care of taking care of you all to the side, telling yourself I'll do that when everything is running smoothly. And I think I remember doing that for myself. And I think that a lot of people are doing that. And they're approaching this space with an empty tank or there's a couple of drops left.
[00:13:29] What do you think about that?
[00:13:31] Sandra: Absolutely. And I think that's a reflection, not just of the typical entrepreneurial journey, which is, you know, I think that entrepreneurial space is heavily influenced by the kind of like bro marketing hustle paradigm of just like the, you know, internet marketing, like white male, ambitious marketers from the early days kind of set the tone and we've all just sort of followed suit, like, ah, hustle and grind that like.
[00:13:56] Sleep when you're dead and like that hugely influenced the entrepreneurial space, but also just society at large, you know, our culture values, achievement. We are taught to value you know, climbing on top of each other towards success. It's a very patriarchal paradigm. And luckily I believe that it's starting to crumble and better things are showing up, but I think for those of us.
[00:14:22] Who have the incredible freedom and choice in terms of running our own businesses and doing purpose heart led and mission-driven heart led work in the world. I think we have a huge opportunity to step into leadership and model. Hey, it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to hustle. You don't have to sleep in your dad.
[00:14:41] You don't have to wear yourself thin. It's actually. The opposite thing that's going to make you successful. Like the more you can lean into self care and prioritize pleasure and honor who you are and do all of those things. Not only will you feel a heck of a lot better the whole way through on the journey, but you will likely that's where I see people collapsing, collapsing time and quantum leaping, and having these ha having the kind of incredible access that is not just, you know, revenue and career success, but it's also.
[00:15:13] You're healthy and your relationships are abundant and you feel calm and grounded and inspired and, you know, cause what is success, if you, you know, great, you hit multiple seven figures, but your family hates you and you feel lonely. And you've got a bunch of health problems because, or yourself out, you know, that to me is not success either.
[00:15:32] So I think even just redefining what success means and prioritizing feeling good in the process. Those of us who had the luxury of being able to create space for that. Like, I almost think we have a responsibility to do that for ourselves and to mock. Entrepreneurs and just humans that that's possible.
[00:15:48] Lindsay: I think that's so important to note. I think that there are so many loud voices online and we definitely hear the, I probably said this a million times, the extroverted masculine voices out there. And that's who I listened to when I first started. Cause there really wasn't a lot of females that I even knew about when I first started.
[00:16:08] So I was listening to like the Gary V's and. I was trying that hustle. And I was like, that's not possible, sir, because I have babies and a full-time job and a house to take care of. I can't just leave the house and show up at 10 o'clock at night to, to say hi to my family. That's not my. And it's so important for us to
[00:16:30] Sandra: see how we're different like that, that worked well with some people and more power to them.
[00:16:34] But a lot of us, especially women are not like that. And it doesn't work for us. And then especially those ones who are maybe women entrepreneurs who are also introverts or empath for sensitive. It's going to have the opposite effect. If we try to do that,
[00:16:48] Lindsay: I think also using the word I'm an introvert as a crutch is also dangerous.
[00:16:55] I hear a lot from people who say, well, I want to work with you because you're an introvert. And I, I can't do a webinar because I'm an introvert. How do you, how do you talk to those people who kind of use it as well, I can't do that because I am this. How do you talk to that person?
[00:17:09] Sandra: Oh yeah. I would say That the, the self-awareness piece is important to just notice and like, not judge yourself for doing that, but to notice and be curious about like, where am I finding certain parts of my personal personality, but then.
[00:17:25] Using them to limit myself. Like, I think everything can be used to exit what's it called to excess or to the like, can be deficient or access. You know, there can be too much of any good thing and then too little of whatever. So it's like, yes, identify the introvert part of you so that you can automate.
[00:17:42] And like, look at, you know, I am sensitive, therefore really important to you to feel safe in my body and to regulate my nervous system and to do the things I need to do to take care of the sensitive part of me. And how can I then decide that just because I'm sensitive that doesn't need to be a limitation and instead of reframe it and be like, how can I have that be a superpower?
[00:18:02] So. Absolutely. We can decide, I want to not do webinars, but maybe instead of only not doing webinars because we're insurance and that's an excuse. Maybe it's like, let me just get really honest with myself. Do I actually want to do webinars? And I'm just scared. And then if so, how could I overcome? How can I work through that fear and do it anyway and do it scared or maybe I just really think webinars are boring and terrible and I wouldn't list them anyway.
[00:18:26] So maybe my version of getting my message out to the people in the audience. Is different. Maybe I want to do writing instead, or maybe I want to do short little clips on reels or, you know, it's like, I think there's so much power in staying open, being curious, being willing to experiment and then really identify well, what works for you?
[00:18:44] Like in the last 10 years, I've tried every marketing strategy under the sun and you know, I think they all were. But do they work for you? And it's taken me a lot of experimentation to figure out which ones do I actually like, which ones do I want to do? Which ones light me up and which ones do I want to do, but I'm a little scared.
[00:18:59] And then now I get to work through that fear. And that's exciting. It makes me feel alive too.
[00:19:04] Lindsay: I love that. I think choosing something that kind of makes sense. I have a little bit of butterflies makes you a little bit nervous is so much different than standing there with your arms crossed saying, well, I'm supposed to do this apparently to be successful and I'm going to make it happen, but I, I, I'm going to hate it, but those are, that's a red flag to not do that.
[00:19:26] And I think finding your own little way to make it better for you. So I when I first started doing webinars years ago, it made me so scared to know that there is going to be people watching me. I, I wouldn't go in front of my class. I mean, my class was 13 people growing up in a small town. Right. And I would not go up in front of the people I grew up with and give a speech.
[00:19:49] I would not do it. So the fact that I'm doing this is probably mind blowing to some people who knew me then, but I would not do it. So then, okay. So Lindsay is going to go do a webinar and she's got. Talk to a stranger she's never talked to before, and she's going to ask them for money. Like how crazy is that?
[00:20:05] Right. So I had to find a way to meet your comfortable for me. So for many webinars, I would take a post-it and I would put it on my screen where they would show how many people are watching. So I would feel like I'm just talking to myself in my office and I wouldn't pay any attention to that number that got me through that phase.
[00:20:23] And then I was like, well, who cares? How many people come removing the post-it and then just kept stepping into the water a little bit more deeper as I went. And we, I think we've got to start somewhere and it has to be from a place that we feel comfortable and okay. I can do that. So instead of focusing on what you can't do and why you can't do it, why not switch it around?
[00:20:43] I do want to do this. How can I make it work best for me?
[00:20:48] Sandra: Exactly. And I think like, there's, there's so many. Just practical tricks in ways that we can find more safety and more comfort and more pleasure. Like I think, you know, w when we're in this, when our nervous system is fully activated and we're like in fight or flight mode, and we're coming from this place of fear and scarcity and worry and anxiety and all this stuff, we're not gonna show up as our best self, even if we're like determined to do the thing and do it scared.
[00:21:13] It's like, what if we can make these empowered choices, right. I'm going to scared. I'm scared, but I'm going to do a webinar anyway. And I'm going to figure out, like, to your point of, I'm going to find a way to make it slightly more comfortable. And then I think also like how, how do I feel, how can I feel more safe in my own body?
[00:21:30] Like, how can I find some of my favorite mentors that I'm listening to these days? Talk a lot about pleasure, especially, and like tapping more into our senses and our like feminine gifts and things. So it could be like, Even just wearing like some fuzzy slippers or having a nice cup of tea or I'm huge on the environment because I'm so sensitive.
[00:21:49] So like, if I'm in a, if I'm in a room that feels kind of dark, it makes me feel sad. I'm like, oh, is the person turning on lights? My husband like has to follow your ways. Why is it so bright in here? Darwin's making sad, sort of constantly adjusting like I'm lighting candles or turning music on, or I want to have like a fuzzy blanket or I think finding ways to connect with our body.
[00:22:11] One of my favorite mentors right now teaches to just like do little, you know, while you're on a client call or while you're on a sales call or while you're doing that masterclass, like do little dental hip circles, or, you know, put your hands on your thighs or run your fingers through your hair. Just.
[00:22:24] Connect to your own body as like a self-soothing thing, but also as a way to connect into the who you want to be, you know, like I'm, if I want to, I'm doing a webinar now I want to show up as like, not my mousy little scared version of myself, but my empowered, fierce, feminine leader, then doing those things in the moment or right before, or like having a dance party to Rihanna song right before I go live or something, those things can change our whole state.
[00:22:54] Lindsay: Absolutely. I, and it doesn't have to be this massive like production of, you know, you have to see a dance party for me is like a heck. Now that's not going to happen. What I'm going to do is I will, I love the light thing. You're not alone there. I'm always turning on the lights and my husband has always point, why are you turning on all the lights all the time and opening up the curtains because we need sun it's it's, it's beautiful.
[00:23:18] Outside, open the curtains. We need light. I want to light the candles. I love having music on in the background. Those little things add up, so it doesn't need to be these big things. And I remember diving into the self-care subject thinking. Okay. This sounds like a lot of work, how to, I'm not even gonna try because I thought it had to be this big production, but it's just the little things that make you happy that make you feel comfortable and safe.
[00:23:43] Especially in your own office. Like if you have an office, I know that I didn't have an office all the time either, but when you do get the chance to have your own office, make it. So it's like your favorite place in the world. Like everything around. You feel happy, inspired, comfortable, warm, all of those things.
[00:24:00] That plays a huge effect in you showing up online and being your best self.
[00:24:06] Sandra: Absolutely. And there's so many different, different ways to do that. And it doesn't have to take much time at all. And I, again, I think just being open to experimenting and trying things and figuring out each of us figuring out what works for us and also so like, we're, you know, we're not trying to, well, this successful person does it this way.
[00:24:24] She has a 90 minute ritual before every basketball she does. I must have to do that. And it's like, no, you can. Maybe your ritual is 30 seconds. Like for me, one of the things that made me feel most alive is headbanging. I've noticed I'm like a 2:00 AM dance parties with my friends. I always am the person that ends up like headbanging.
[00:24:42] And like, my neck will be sore the next morning. So I'm like flinging my hair all over with that just talks me into this like primal version of myself. So like, I can do that before a sales call. I can do that before. And Instagram live and just, it, it doesn't have to be a 2:00 AM dance party. It can be 30 seconds of a good song and just moving my body and remembering like, I am this private, like, I'm just, I'm just a creature.
[00:25:05] I'm like a forest creature. I'm a mammal. Like I'm basically like a lion and I can
[00:25:09] Lindsay: tap into that. You mentioned reels and that is that's the introvert's cryptic. And they, they don't even want to D I, for me, a lot of reels feel way too much for me. And a lot of people want to try it, but they don't know how they can stand out.
[00:25:25] Like you told your husband, you know, what are my flavors or how can I, how could I pull those really exciting things that I think would relate to people? And so many people think they're way too boring to even try. But I think those are great ways to connect with other people. Cause you do get a lot of exposure to people that aren't currently following you as, I mean, as far as I know.
[00:25:46] But how did you figure out your, your flavors that you could show to your audience? Maybe some tips for people who want to try it, but they feel like they're, you know, scared or boring or all of those things you can relate.
[00:26:01] Sandra: Great question. So I want a huge realization I've had even just in the last year is.
[00:26:09] As this sensitive creature that I am, I do best when I honor my own timing and in the hustle culture, that we've all been conditioned. And it's really hard when you see, you know, other entrepreneurs who hit their first six figures in like five seconds or, you know, they've done this and they, they just started their business yesterday and they have like 8 million views on Tik TOK.
[00:26:30] And you're like, what the, what then realizing that. Okay. Compel comparing just to compare is not helpful. I try to only compare if, if I'm in the right kind of, if I'm in the right mindset where I can compare and be inspired. So I would get so scared and go to fear of failure, but I feel like I should do it.
[00:26:47] And so I was putting all this pressure on myself and I was like, I know I should be doing it, but I just, I couldn't get myself to pull the trigger. And then finally, You will do them when you decide that you're ready and you will do them when you want to do it because you want to like do it out of desire, not out of obligation, because if you're doing it out of obligation, you're probably going to resent it and be annoyed.
[00:27:06] And that's not a good energy to put on the video. So I was like, I just gave myself permission to be writing when I was ready. And that took probably like six months. And then honestly, just a couple of weeks ago. No, I'm ready now. I'm excited. Now I want to do it now. I want to do it because I'm realizing that this is a platform like there's a part of me that used to want to be a singer that you still wanted to be a dancer that you still want to be an actress.
[00:27:29] I grew up in LA and pardon me, that really is sad that I didn't explore that. And then now I'm like, oh my gosh, this platform is basically my chance to just play and like have fun and be silly and show the parts of me. Maybe in a different lifetime had gone and become like a Hollywood actress, you know, like I can just.
[00:27:47] A vehicle for self-expression the keyword being self-expression. So if you're just trying to copy what everyone else is doing, it's not necessarily going to be authentic anyway, but you can use them for inspiration. Like I took a real training the other day. I learned some tips about, you know, using trending audio and matching your, to the beat and blah, blah, blah.
[00:28:04] And I was like, okay, I'm going to make it so easy on myself. I committed to I'm like, I'm going to do one really a just to like, create some structure for myself. So I do all the structure and then I was like, I'm just going to make it easy. I'm going to make them super short. And I'm going to do what feels like low hanging fruit.
[00:28:19] I'm like, I'm going to use the trending audio and look at other versions of that for inspiration. And then I'm just going to let my own version show up and be like, what's what is something I would do to that? Like what feels natural for me? And then I do that. And I mean, I'm very early in the journey, but it's already just feeling so fun because then I took the pressure off and I'm allowing whatever my version is in my own timing to be okay.
[00:28:46] Instead of comparing with everyone else and then putting the pressure on .
[00:28:50] Lindsay: That's a great lesson for every strategy in business, whether it's reels, writing a blog, post, making a video, a podcast, whatever, if you are going in it with a bunch of pressure and negativity. It's not going to be the greatest thing you've ever done.
[00:29:07] And only, I, I like how you said honoring your own timing. And I think so many of us don't do that because we are seeing the, the one hit wonders out there. We're seeing. You know, very rare occasions where everything happens overnight and it doesn't, and yes, it's not as glamorous to say that. Yes, it took me years to get to where I am and years to get to where you are, but it is the truth.
[00:29:33] And instead of making other people's success, feel daunting to you, be happy for them. And to feel inspired that this is possible for you too, and be okay with the journey you're on, because you're never going to be able to hop on anyone else's. So either you feel negative about it or you flip it around the other way and keep going.
[00:29:52] It's it ultimately is our choice with everything that we do online is whether you're an introvert and extrovert, whatever it is you got to do what feels right for you and release the pressure of trying to be like everybody else, because it's not going to happen that way.
[00:30:07] Sandra: It will feel so much better and you'll give him much more or much better results when you're doing it in a way that's like safe and nourishing to your own body and honoring who you are being authentic is so much more fun than.
[00:30:21] Lindsay: I love it. When I tell my clients, I tell them what I did and, and they take that and they sift through it and they try it their own way. That's when I see real, real results, not when people completely copy what you do, because as if it worked for me, it'll work for them. That doesn't work. You have to use teachings and lessons.
[00:30:40] And courses and coaching as, as just a bunch of things that you're going to shake through and you're going to see what's left. Okay. This is what's going to work for me. I'm going to try that. Cause I don't know what you Sondra, but I've gotten advice from people who have massive success and it didn't work for me.
[00:30:57] Has that ever happened to you?
[00:30:58] Sandra: Absolutely. And you see. Strategies that people use where I'm like, I absolutely see why that works and why that works for that person. And I can see that they nerd out on it and they love it. And I have zero desire to do it that way. Like I look at, you know, a lot of the business coaches out there and a lot of the, so many of my.
[00:31:17] Colleagues and fellow entrepreneurs that I look at, a lot of them are very, they're very type they're they're doers or implementers. They're like, and they love the analytics. Like so many of my colleagues that I've talked to, they totally nerd out on analytics and stats and this and that and funnels and stuff.
[00:31:31] And I look at that and I'm like, it just puts me to sleep, to think about any of that. And I'm like, I would rather focus on pleasure and magnetism and energy and manifestation and that kind of stuff. I still want to take the action and do the things. Like just being really curious and really honest with ourselves and recognizing like most strategies can work.
[00:31:51] But you're going to have the best success with the ones that you pay that you're excited about. And that makes sense for you as a human and your human experience and your lifestyle and your business model. And just because it worked for somebody else doesn't mean it's going to work for you. So you may as well find what works for you and just, and be really curious and honest.
[00:32:10] Lindsay: Hmm. I think being curious, and if it's something that you can quit, try try it, but you'll never know unless you try if you're still feeling interested, but don't ever feel like, oh, I should have tried that even though it didn't feel right for me. Don't ever regret not doing something because somebody told you to do it.
[00:32:27] You didn't try it for a reason. I think there's always a reason behind every decision. But I think it's more important to us. Come back home to what feels right for you. And it's not being stubborn. It's just being strong in who you are. And we're not going to know who we are until we really explore that and end to be happy with who we are.
[00:32:46] We have all kinds of gifts and if we deny them, Or we're ashamed of who we are. Everything's gonna feel really clunky moving forward. So I'm happy to have this conversation with you, Sandra. I think it's an, I think you kind of gave us some second level advice, third level advice on being an introvert, standing out and a permission slip to be who we are and make it, make it our own.
[00:33:10] I think that's the most fun part about having an online business is we can make this our own.
[00:33:16] Sandra: Exactly. And I think a big part of that journey is, is learning to trust ourselves because let's be honest with our, our culture and our society, and most of our childhood conditioning and stuff we're taught to not trust ourselves.
[00:33:26] And we're taught to like everywhere else for the solution and the magic bullet. And that's not silver bullet, whatever it's called. And I think the more that we can be like, yes, I can look at strategies and listen to mentors and do all of that and get inspiration. And. I also have to be learning how to listen to my own intuition, how to follow my own desires.
[00:33:44] And the more I think we do that, the more we, we cultivate a deeper sense of self-trust and the more we trust ourselves and can hear it intuition that's when the magic happens. Like I'm doing an experiment right now where I'm like, what if I just radically chose to trust my intuition in everything I do.
[00:34:02] And it's really interesting how both. It's a little scary, but there's a lot of lightness there and it feels so liberating to kind of be like, I I'm trusting that my own inner GPS system is onto something and I may not always be logical. It may not make sense, but like, what if I just trust it and see what happens?
[00:34:25] Lindsay: I do that all the time. And that's my number one business tool. And I also do that with baking and I have a funny story for Christmas. I, I added a lot of things to my list. I volunteered to make way too much food for all these family events. And I. In the midst of making, you know, the 10th dish and it was a, it was a, it was a chocolate pie.
[00:34:49] And I thought, oh, maybe I should do a chocolate merengue pie. And so I made the merengue, it turned out really well. I put it on top of the pie, put it in the oven. It immediately started out on fire because that's just what it can do. And I yelled for my husband and he comes in. My husband's a fireman too.
[00:35:08] And he came in laughing cause I, it was already out by the time I shut the oven door and he goes now, what are you going to do? I'm like, it'll be fine. You know, he's like, well, we kinda gotta be there in like an hour. And I said, no, it'll be fine. And he just, he gets frustrated when I'm like that when we're cooking, because I, that can be really frustrating for him anyways.
[00:35:27] So I took the pie and I scraped it to the merengue off and it would look like a brand new pie. And I said, what about if we just put. Whipped cream on top of it. And he looks at me like, whatever, Lindsey, just hurry up. And I said, go grab the whipped cream and I'll make fresh whipped cream. So he opens up the fridge, grabs the carton of cream and there's barely any in there.
[00:35:49] And I shook it and I said, it's fine. And he goes that there's not enough in there. And he's getting nervous because we got to go and I'm like, it'll be fine. So I make the whipped cream, Sweden it and all the things. And I started spreading it on top of the chocolate pie and he just starts laughing and he was almost crying, laughing.
[00:36:08] And I said, what's so funny. He goes, just, everything always works out for you. And he was just. Frustrated, but it, it was hilarious because it literally was the exact amount of cream that I needed. It worked out and it was delicious. And I said, I always say that everything will work out for me. I, I just believe that.
[00:36:25] So I just keep on moving and maybe you think I look dumb while I'm in the act of it, but it will work out. So I think that's a funny story because that's kind of how my business model works too. And I apply it to my baking strategy.
[00:36:38] Sandra: And it's, it's a really fun way to like most humans I would argue are walking around, judging themselves and worrying and comparing and setting these high expectations and like caught in imposter syndrome, perfectionism, all this stuff.
[00:36:53] And it's like, what if we. And of course it's a journey. It takes time and practice, but like, what if we really worked on a trusting ourselves and relaxing and just instead of being so my husband said it in a great way. The other day, I think he had listened to a podcast and was talking about how we're so outcome oriented.
[00:37:07] So the end goal, the milestone, the that's, the success markers. And like, what if we just let all of that go and just focus on the process and just like, you know, total growth, hashtag growth mindset that you're right, like being. In the process while we're in the process and actually daring to just have fun and be playful and like not take herself so seriously and see everything with like the amusement of like, because life is pretty absurd and ridiculous.
[00:37:34] When you think about it, when you find the humor and the joy and the ridiculousness and things, and actually enjoy the process, then. And I think then we become a lot more magnetic and we, we, and we flow and we attract things more easily. And if you genuinely believe that things always work out for you, it's amazing how that becomes your truth.
[00:37:52] Right? So much like law of attraction self-fulfilling process either and manifestation, like the more we train ourselves to be in that mindset of fun and pleasure and play and trust and desire rather than all the worry and the pressure. It's like a totally different paradigm to live in.
[00:38:11] Lindsay: It is I'd rather live there.
[00:38:13] That's for sure. Well, Sandra, this is a great conversation. How can everyone find you and find more about what you do?
[00:38:21] Sandra: I am very easy to find because I am the same handle on all the platforms and my website. So it's just my name, Sandra Possing. com. And then I'm on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn and all the places I'm probably on Instagram the most.
[00:38:36] And definitely check out my reels cause that's where I'm fucking. Hopefully by the time you hear this, there should be lots of good ones
[00:38:43] Lindsay: on there. Well, thank you for spending time with us. This was really fun. Everyone. Go follow her. Go check out her reels and thank you for sharing all of your goodness, Sandra.
[00:38:53] And thank you everyone for listening.
[00:38:54] Sandra: It was my pleasure. And I wish you all such a fun journey along the way, cause it really can be.