How to Create Positive Affirmations to Live Your Best Life With Melinda Quesenberry
Episode Transcript:
Lindsay (00:01):
Welcome back to another episode of the book your dream clients podcast. We have an amazing guest with us today that's really going to help us kick off the new year by putting amazing things in our mind to help us become more impactful coaches. We have Melinda with us and we're chatting about affirmations and how to do them in a way that you've probably never heard of. You are going to love this. So sit back, relax and enjoy Melinda. Thank you so much for being on the book, your dream clients podcast. I'm so excited to have you on today.
Melinda (00:59):
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
Lindsay (01:01):
The minute I met you online, I was like, wow, this woman sounds so amazing. And she just makes me feel, I don't know about you guys, but sometimes you meet people and then they make you feel really calm. I have that. I get that sense. And Melinda, you absolutely made me feel that way. So it was such a great thing to see that you're going to be on the podcast. So I just wanted to tell you that, because I think it's important to share those feelings with people. I would love for you to introduce yourself to everybody and tell us all about what you do and who you serve.
Melinda (01:34):
Thank you. Yeah, so my name is Melinda and I am the creator of feta thoughts and a little background. So I'm, I specialize in a unique style of meditation called yoga nidra. And I've been teaching that for quite a few years now. And what it does is it guides you into beta consciousness and it's there that all the subconscious reprogramming, the past patterns and beliefs that we store in the body and the mind are then reprogrammed or transmuted into new positive thoughts and beliefs. And so through my sharing of yoga nidra, I and then I pulled in the law of attraction. I came up with feta thoughts and beta thoughts is an affirmation meditation or an affirmation recording in which I use data by narrow beats to guide the listener into that beta state of consciousness, which is a very relaxed state it's that of deep meditation
Melinda (02:39):
And it's there once again that we store all those subconscious patterns and beliefs, and then the individual creates their own affirmations and records them in their voice. And then they listen. So I loop the affirmations with the feta brainwave entrainment. So while the listener is in this very deeply relaxed, typically I suggest doing it while you're lying down, maybe first thing in the morning, or as you're going to sleep or I like to do it as an afternoon, nap myself. Then the affirmations, these positive phrases are being looped and repeated into your subconscious mind. And it's a very subtle thing because our subconscious is subtle, right? It's always running in the background. And so with time I usually suggest people do it, you know, 20 minutes a day. I suggest 40 days, but I've seen positive results in less than three weeks from people that use it, the negative patterns of thoughts that are typically looping through our mind begin to sort of quiet and eventually cease.
Melinda (03:41):
And they're replaced with these new, positive thoughts, which help us to feel more alive, more connected with the life and joy and love. And we feel more empowered. And the people that I serve is really anyone. Typically women tend to be my clientele that come to me, people that are looking you know, to feel more, to feel more connected with themselves, to love themselves more fully, because as we love ourselves more fully, we can then radiate that love and light out into the world. So I do tend to attract a lot of other people in my industry, other yoga instructors, meditation instructors coaches, even psychologists are loving it for themselves and then, you know, to share with their clients. So anyone that's really wanting to just live a more abundant and fulfilling life.
Lindsay (04:35):
I love that. And I think what's so interesting about what you do is that you make not make, but you make us do the work. Like you have to write how you want this to be, and then you have to record it. And I've never seen anybody do that. I think it's, you know, everyone sees like all the affirmations everywhere and they just say, Oh, you know, make your own and then have fun. But then you, you, you take it back and then you make this, you know, amazing creation for people. Why is it important for the person who is doing this to record it in their voice and not yours?
Melinda (05:09):
Yeah. Great question. And I get asked that a lot. I actually get asked a lot. Can you just do this for me? So I D I do have prerecorded ones created but really the focus is on the custom. And the reason for that is it's not my voice. That's looping in the back of your head. As you move throughout your day, it's your voice, right? You're you have your own little inner critic or a little gremlins, or just this thought loop of a tape. It's just going, going, going all day long. I think we have like 60,000 thoughts per day of which like 95%. We're not even aware of. Right? So those are all in your voice. And when I say your voice, it's also your language. Not just the language you actually speak, but the, the way you use words, right?
Melinda (05:54):
Like we all have different words that we use to, to beat ourselves up and to help us rise up. And so when you create your own affirmations, you're creating words that are going to resonate with you, with your subconscious, with your soul, with the cells of your being. So you're creating them yourself in language that resonates with you and then your voice. So your voice was actually created to heal you. And what I mean by that is like, like chanting mantra. Singing is so powerful because your voice creates a vibration in your body to heal you. But the same happens when you're listening to your own voice. So sure. You can listen to somebody else's voice. I think it's great that there's so many affirmation meditations out there. Like I said, I have a few of myself just to kind of give people an idea, but your voice. I mean, it's like, just think of it as like magnified, like thousands, you know, it's going to penetrate so quickly to your subconscious and it's going to create that new thought loop just that much quicker. And yeah, it's just so powerful to have it done in your words, your voice,
Lindsay (07:02):
I can, I can absolutely see how that difference could be so much more effective because sometimes we do drown out other people's voice. Cause we're like, okay, I'm done. And then, but if we're listening to ourselves, which is something that we don't do as often as we should, we're almost making our we're training ourselves to listen to ourselves throughout the day and not just with those recordings. So when a person is going through this process and they're like, they've never even been an affirmation person and they know what other people are doing, but how do they really tune into what they need to hear?
Melinda (07:39):
Yeah. Great question. So to tune into what you need to hear. So when they purchase my custom, I have sort of like a PDF booklet that they received that uses some different coaching tools that I've learned over the years to sort of hone in on what it is that that individual is maybe wanting to work on, focus on. So people use data thoughts to either heal themselves in some way, or to maybe call in or manifest something or embody a quality that they want. So it's really just, you know, using the different tools that are out there, usually a good way to tune into an area, to focus on if we're super removed from that is what area of my life do. I tend to maybe beat myself up in, where are those negative thought takes really kicking in strongly. And really that just requires some present moment, mindfulness, right?
Melinda (08:33):
So taking a day to just make, make that intention of I'm going to tune into my thoughts today, right? And you're not, like I said, we have 60,000 thoughts per day. You're not going to be aware of all of them, but when you set that intention at the beginning of your day, just to be this like witness observer in your life you'll just start to notice and then maybe even have like a little timer or like times you check in with yourself throughout the, and as you do that, you'll start to be more aware of the internal tape. Cause that's really where it starts. So many of us aren't even aware of that internal tape that's happening. And so as we start to become more aware, I mean, we might actually be totally surprised. I know I was the, the areas of my life that I was totally just, I mean, ripping myself to pieces. I was really shocked. Like I had no idea not only the areas, but the things I was saying to myself, we really are our worst critics.
Lindsay (09:25):
We absolutely are. Unfortunately. So we have a lot of coaches who listened to the podcast and there's a lot of spiritual coaches out there and there's, you know, business coaches, but we all have that one common thing in mind is we want to work with clients and we want to make a change in our life so we can, you know, achieve different goals. How, how can they use that goal to, how can they use your app, the affirmations to help them achieve that goal? What are some examples?
Melinda (09:54):
Yeah. So I think that you know, coaches where they're setting out to help others, right? They want to help other people feel empowered and inspired and live their best life. However when we set out on that path, right, we ourselves start to face what I call like our fear gremlins, right? Like all those self doubts that come up, like, am I good enough? Like, am I ever going to get clients? This is really hard. How is this ever going to work for me? You know, I'm working my butt off and I'm not getting any feedback or no clients are signing up for my courses. So we also face, when I say we I'm referring to like, the coaches are there, that sort of realm. Ubut anybody really that's setting out to start something, right? You're your own entrepreneur, you're starting your own business.
Melinda (10:41):
So we're going to face all of that. And so these affirmations, we can sort of switch that dialogue around, right? Like we always want to honor the things that come up because fear has a message for us. Doubt has a message for us. And it's also showing us that the area in which to look at, to maybe re reprogram those thoughts, and then they can create affirmations for themselves to empower themselves. Right. And then that's going to, as they empower themselves, that's going to help them to align their vibration, right. With the highest frequency that of love and joy and gratitude. And then they become magnets for attracting more clients. Does that make sense?
Lindsay (11:23):
It makes perfect sense because, you know, sometimes we, we get so busy making all the things in our business and doing all the work. And then when we actually put ourselves out there and we don't get the results we are expecting, we can go so down. We can get so down because we feel like we're not good at enough. And then we're working off of that energy and that energy is not attracting clients to us. Do you agree?
Melinda (11:47):
Exactly 100%!
Lindsay (11:51):
I think it's important. I, if somebody has never been in, if they haven't meditated or done the affirmations and this is so new to them, what can you say to them to make them to make it click, like, you know, this will be helpful for you and here's why,
Melinda (12:08):
Yeah. If they've never done meditation and affirmations that's sort of why I created this, to be honest, I feel like a lot of people are turned off by both of these things actually meditation. Oh, that sounds nice. I just can't do that. You know, affirmations. I mean, I resisted them for half of a decade before I finally was like, I've tried every other tool, I guess I'll try this. So I totally get that. Aversion or resistance, especially to something new unknown. We're not familiar with it. So I think the theta brainwave entrainment, if I kind of even want to like step away from that word meditation, I mean, it is that, that the theta brainwave entrainment it's really just so it's binaural beats. You have the headphones. So it's sending frequencies into each ear is it's, it's effortless meditation.
Melinda (13:00):
I took it after that whole idea of yoga nidra. And if you're not familiar with it, yoga and meta is sweet meditation. So you lie down, right? You get super cozy. You're like snuggled up with your blanket, your favorite pillow, your sleep mask, and, and you don't have to do anything you don't have to like, cause when you're meditating, the mind sort of starts to wander a lot, which it will at first with this too. But because you have the music guiding you, it's eventually going to effortlessly like drop you into meditation. And so it takes about seven minutes on average for the body and the mind to relax. So if you just have that in mind, you know, like just know that you might be restless a little bit at first. But it's really this sort of beautiful, effortless meditation. That's why I love it so much.
Melinda (13:44):
The affirmations can be a little bit harder, but for people to kind of get on board with, but I think when you, you set out, so the recordings only require eight to 10 affirmations and I kind of sorta cut it off at that even because we're creating a positive thought loop. So we want those repetitive affirmation. So it's not like you need to create, you know, a hundred affirmations for yourself. And really they're just the most, the ones that are the most empowering the most have that really profound impact on the subconscious I have found are really short statements. Like I love myself, I am beautiful. I am powerful. So when we kind of break it down into these like smaller chunks and even just in terms of the affirmation, right? I think that can be a little bit easier for people that are new to this practice to sort of get onboard with.
Lindsay (14:44):
Love the fact that this is a meditation that you can do and fall asleep too, because sometimes it's like, you know, you should, you know, do certain things before you go to bed. Like, you know, I used to, I, I, if I admit my, what I've been doing the past six months as I have not been meditating, I just really want to go to bed and journal and go to bed. And, and I'm not going to beat myself up about that. And so having something that you can just like pop in your headphones and then go to sleep, sounds so much easier than having, like, for me, you know, what kid is going to Boston to the room now, or who's going to, who's going to need something. And then you're just like stressing out. And then like, sometimes you'll find yourself, how long is this meditation? Like I needed, I need to be done wrap it up. And it just gets to be so stressful. So I love that this is something that you can just do that the last thing in the day, or even in the morning, or like you said in the afternoon, I think that's nice. And it works well with people who may be resistant to setting out more time to do yet another task.
Melinda (15:51):
Exactly. Yeah.
Lindsay (15:55):
I love that. You keep it simple. So that's, that's a huge plus for everybody.
Melinda (15:59):
Yeah. Definitely. The simplicity of it, I think is actually what's the most powerful part of it. And then to cycle back to what you were saying about using it to fall asleep at night, I mean, that's the perfect time for reprogramming our subconscious cause restorative already in that like lucid feta state. And, and yeah, so people can pop this in as they fall asleep. The recordings very you know, I think the customer has 44 minutes. So, you know, you'll probably fall asleep within that timeframe. And so it just sort of guides you into sleep. You're left with these, you know, beautiful thoughts of yourself as you drift into sleep. I also love to do it first thing in the morning. I mean, there was even a period where I was waking up for work. I had to get work at five 30.
Melinda (16:42):
But I would set my alarm just 20 minutes earlier than I would normally need to get out of bed. And I already have everything programmed. So I knew I just pop in my headphones and I didn't set an alarm of course, to make sure you wake up, but you sort of dropped back into this like lucidity, dreamlike state. But before my feet even touched the ground to begin my day, I already felt accomplished. You know, I got to put that big fat check check Mark next to I meditated today. Like, you know, so many of us, I mean, I've definitely had days myself where I wait until the very last thing I do is meditate. Right. But like, I get to start my day knowing that no matter what else happens today, I did some, I would meditated, but I also did something for myself.
Melinda (17:27):
You know, I already did my self care. I said, nice things to myself. I nourish my body, my soul, my mind before I even put my feet on the ground. So yeah, I think that's a great time to do it too. And then for me, my favorite time of siesta, I get tired like around two every day. And so what a great way, because the data thoughts are very relaxing and guides you into. Ulike I said, that sleep like state and most people do fall asleep, but it also creates this is like reenergizing for you. So it's sort of like,ua nice mid day when you kind of hit that lull instead of grabbing coffee, I say, or tea, you know, do a little 20 to 40 minute feta thoughts and you're like, boom, back out there for the rest of your day.
Lindsay (18:11):
I love that. That's amazing. So, okay. I have a really basic question to ask you when you are laying in bed and you're like pop in your headphones, what headphones do you use to meditate while you're sleeping?
Melinda (18:25):
So I just, I totally just splurged and gifted myself those new iPod pro one's for the Apple iPhone. How do they work? I'm using them right now. They're absolutely amazing actually a client of mine, she was doing the beta thoughts and she, I D I like checking with my clients or my customers, you know, to see how things are going. And she was like, Oh, I just bought these new headphones. You have to get them. And I was like, Oh, it's like, really, you know, it's a splurge for some headphones. Right. They are amazing. If you have the iPhone, of course, but they cancel out the, the white noise. So it really takes you even more inward into your experience.
Lindsay (19:08):
I felt like I was like, is that a dumb question to ask? But that's a pain point for me is we had phones. I don't want to get tangled up in a corner
Melinda (19:16):
And they heard it. You're right. You're right. And there are so many kinds, right? Like there's the big bulky ones. These ones are just the little teeny wireless ones that plug into my ears are not plugged in, but, you know, pop in. But even before I would just use my regular ones that came with the iPhone and I didn't find it to be an issue because like, so when I do it, I'm laying on my back. And it relaxes you so deeply that you just like drop in. So it's not like a, it's not like a full night of sleep where you're kind of tossing and turning. However you do make a good point if you are using it to fall asleep. At night I, I liked the cord probably better because then I could, at some point you sort of know you're about to fall asleep and you just kind of gently remove it and set it off to the side, the little eye buds or whatever they're called could probably get lost. And I mean, at the price they are, you probably don't want to get behind it. Yeah. I mean, I guess for that, I would just suggest maybe like playing around with a few different options. Cause they we're all going to be so different in what we really prefer, but yeah,
Lindsay (20:18):
But it's important to have them in headphones and not just playing right beside you
Melinda (20:22):
100%. So, because I use the feta binaural beats, you will only receive the benefits of the binaural beats with headphones. So that's a great question. Yes. So you have one frequency going into one ear and then a different frequency going into the other air ear. And that's what creates the binaural beats. And then that's, what is guiding you into feta consciousness? Yeah. So some people might, the music still relaxing. Um actually play feta binaural beats often in the background of my meditation classes. Like when I'm doing a large group meditation class, because some of them, not all of them, some of them still have like a nice tone. You have to be very careful with that though. To receive the actual benefits of that feta, brainwave, entrainment, headphones are required.
Lindsay (21:12):
Awesome. This was such a good conversation and I really want to encourage people to go to Melinda's website to take advantage of something so special. How can they find more about this? And so they can get their own recording.
Melinda (21:26):
Yeah. So you can visit our website. It's just www.faidathetathoughts.com under our custom experience and every, all the info is on the website. Once you check out you'll receive two PDFs, the first one helps you to walk literally is set out so clear to guide anybody, whether you're an expert at affirmations or it's your first time, the PDF guides you through the process, from everything to creating, honing in on that area of your life that you really want to focus on and see those positive changes to creating your affirmations, creating the recording, submitting the recording for final production. Cause you do have to send it back to me so I can create that final product for you. So there is a little bit of interaction between us, which is quite nice. And then excuse me, the second PDF. Um call them like the amplifiers to, so once you have your recording, it alone is magic, but then there's more that you can do on top of that. And of course that's optional. Umut I find that when we use these tools that are in the amplifiers, activity booklet, you're just, it's going to really help you to, must sort of like activate what's happening inside of you. And then the more you become aware of the changes that are happening within you, the more you're going to notice them happening. And then it sort of creates that ripple effect. So those activities help, with that part of it.
Lindsay (22:56):
Okay. That's awesome. We will put all of those. She has a lots of links that we can use. We're going to put them all in the show notes. You can go follow her on Instagram, go join her Facebook community. Learn more about her and how you can better your life, because this is a very powerful tool. So thank you so much for being with us, Melinda. It was so great to have you on
Melinda
Thank you so much for having me.
Today we have with us, Melinda Quesenberry the creator of Theta Thoughts. For over a decade Melinda has wholeheartedly invested herself in the studies of human behavior, the mind, consciousness, positive psychology, happiness, mindfulness, the law of attraction and more. She has a Masters degree in Psychology and is a 500 hour registered yoga instructor, specializing in Yoga Nidra. Melinda has blended her knowledge and interests into a unique experience that is designed to assist individuals on their path of transformation and manifestation, all while bringing about positive changes and improving the quality of
their life. I t is her passion and purpose to empower individuals to live more peaceful, fulfilling and abundant lives through harnessing the power of their thoughts.
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