Building a business involves having a lot of faith in yourself and in your dream. Sometimes we can get too caught up in comparing our progress to everyone else's online, which is why I'm so glad for the amazing conversation I had with Nefateria Robinson about just that and so much more.

Nefateria Fonda’ is the PRESIDENT of Go Get It, Inc., a Certified Business and Sales Coach, Author and Facilitator specializing in helping Christian Parallel-preneurs (Professionals who are building a service-based business alongside their 9-5) get clear on whom they serve and how they serve, get confident in their sales skills, get cash into their business, so that God gets the glory. She believes you deserve to have a business with a bountiful bank account, that doesn’t require long hours, sleepless nights and countless sacrifices. Her book How to Activate Your Faith, Commit to a Plan and Take Action; That Will Change Your Life is for faith-based individuals, who are interested in learning how to experience the best that life has to offer. For groups and organizations, who are interested in offering a Private Vision Board Experience for their group, she is a Facilitator, whose energy is contagious, who provides valuable content, and keeps audiences engaged.

Website: http://www.nefateriafonda.com/media/

Episode Transcript:

Project 186

[00:00:00] Lindsay: You are listening to the book of dream clients, podcast bite-sized episodes from one coach to another to help you create and scale your business with simplicity, no hustle required.

[00:00:16] I'll come back to the Booker gym clients podcast. Today we have NEFA Tyria with us and we're having a conversation about parallel preneurs. I have never heard of. And it is so interesting on how she talks to people who are balancing their business and their nine to five and how to really honor your time.

[00:00:34] So sit back, relax and enjoy Nefateria. Thank you so much for being on the Booker gym clients podcast. I am super excited to have you on today.

[00:00:46] Nefateria: Thank you so much for having me, Lindsay. Yes,

[00:00:49] Lindsay: absolutely. So I would love for you to go ahead and introduce yourself and tell everyone about who you are and what you do.

[00:00:56] Nefateria: Wonderful. Well, I am and I'm the owner of go get it, Inc. And I'm a certified business and sales coach for what I call parallel maneuvers. Those are professionals who are building a service based business alongside their nine to five. I help them get clear on who they serve and how they serve them competent in their selling skills so they can get cash in their business and God gets the glory.

[00:01:17] I'm also, yes, also an author of a book, how to write. Act as an acronym for activate your faith, commit to a plan, take action that will change your life as well as a facilitator for group leaders do wanting to do vision boards for their members.

[00:01:35] Lindsay: Oh my gosh. You are a busy lady. How did you get started with all

[00:01:38] of

[00:01:38] Nefateria: this?

[00:01:39] So I initially got my certification in life coaching and of course, like most we eventually niched down to. It gives us the most joy. So I started off as a life coach, and then I did some financial coaching and credit repair, and then I moved into wanting to help parallel corners. Cause that's where I was.

[00:01:56] I was working my nine to five and I, my goal was to eventually transition full-time into entrepreneurship. And I just want to ensure that pure LeBron newers have the right plan in place. They're spending their time wisely because normally they're shorter on time because they are committed. At least 40 hours somewhere else that they're working on the right thing so that when they do decide to make that transition, that it's a seamless transition and it's not, oh my God, what did I do?

[00:02:20] What am I supposed to be doing? Why are the clients not here yet? All the things that you may go through when you just take a leap of faith and don't necessarily have all the things in order.

[00:02:28] Lindsay: I've never heard anyone say it as a parallel preneur. I love that. I that's speaking my language. I have worked from home for 17 years and I've run my business alongside of it for almost half of it or over half of that.

[00:02:42] So you're definitely speaking my language and I have a lot of people in my life who are doing the same thing. They're balancing their nine to five or maybe a part-time job while building their bids. And one of the biggest questions I get is how do I know when it's time to quit your full-time job?

[00:02:55] Or how do I know when everything will be set up for me? If I take that leap and I always say, well, you never really know. Right? And I have not done that myself. What is the, what are some words of wisdom you can give to those coaches

[00:03:09] out

[00:03:09] Nefateria: there? Absolutely. So to your point, yes, you really don't never really know when it's time, but you can kind of set yourself up to be in the best position as possible.

[00:03:19] So I always like to say, because I do come from the finance background, that number one, you need to ensure your finances in order discuss with whomever you share financial responsibility with whether that's a spouse or if you're taking care of a loved one or children or whatever the case may be, discuss your financial.

[00:03:35] Current your current financial health, what would it look like if one, you went down to one income, what would it look like? If the business is not, has not completely replaced the income, that's no longer there having that real conversation about the finances is one thing that I would say that can help you.

[00:03:51] I feel a little bit more ready about it. Number two, are you getting consistent leads that you have been able to turn into clients, right? So that the income that you're making your business, is it what you're making on your job? Is it half of what you make it on your job or are you not making any income at all?

[00:04:08] So number two would just ensure that your business can sustain you. Whether you look at the business as a part-time income, or if it fully. Has surpassed or meets what you're currently making on your nine to five and number three, to have a conversation with yourself to ensure that this is really what you want to do full time.

[00:04:26] You know, sometimes online, it looks like all glitz and glamor, but there is a lot of behind the scenes that you don't see, you know, That people don't necessarily share. It's not curated online. So you really have to have a conversation with yourself. I'm a Christian girl. So I talk to God a lot and really determined if this is where you should go.

[00:04:47] For your business, is it full-time entrepreneurship because it's not for the faint of heart and it will test you on every side.

[00:04:54] Lindsay: Yes, it will. It absolutely will. And I think that the biggest thing you said is have a conversation with God because we can go through it in our head back and forth and change our minds.

[00:05:04] A thousand times a day about it. And that's what I did when I wasn't sure if I should homeschool my kids. And I shared that in an episode last year of how I really wanted to do it. I knew that I would be okay, but I was afraid of making a mistake. Right. And I think. We're afraid of something bad happening and it's all our fault.

[00:05:24] Right. I'll ruin my kids by spending all day with them. Right. And I had, I kept asking God for signs and I think God is like, okay, Lindsay, how many more signs do you need? So I've had a dream that these really big arms handed over a pile of books to me like here, Here's your sign. Stop asking me and just do it.

[00:05:48] Yes.

[00:05:48] Nefateria: Yes. You like that too? I love it.

[00:05:55] Lindsay: But when it comes to, when it comes to money and removing a full-time. You know, career and the benefits and all of those things, all of that stuff piles up and we get so caught up in everyone. Like you said, that the curated social media post, the highlight reels of everyone's day, what it looks like to be a full-time entrepreneur, you know, these slow mornings and oh, I get to go on a two-hour walk and you know, that's probably not what it looks like.

[00:06:22] So it's really hard for us nine to fivers, to think. Having to spend eight hours a day working on our business solid. So how can we make that kind of a shift, that mindset shift, where we don't have to be multitasking things and really crunching all of our time together in one, some, you know, a couple of hours at night or during in the morning when everyone's sleeping, how do we make that shift?

[00:06:47] Nefateria: So I think just even when you're working your business, part-time treating your business. Like you would treat a part-time job, having a structured time that you show up to your business, having what your. Delivers are going to be for that day. And so that when you do transition full-time you already have had some structure in place.

[00:07:06] So it shouldn't be like, oh, now I got eight hours. Like you said, I can take a two hour walk or I can go sit in somebody else's house to wait for the furniture guy to come. Cause I got nothing but time on my hands. So I just think already having some type of structure. While you're part-time that when you decide to transition, full-time you put that same structure in place and you really set up a business schedule for yourself, starting with the things that you're already committed to in your off time.

[00:07:33] So whether that's Sunday for church and family or kid's soccer games on Tuesday and Thursday nights, go ahead and mark all those things out and realistically look and see what time you have left to devote to your business, set you up a schedule. And adhere to that schedule and just know that you can change it if necessary, but do your best to stick to that schedule for a duration, give your business the same respect you gave your nine to five.

[00:07:55] Mm.

[00:07:55] Lindsay: I love that because I think that we sometimes believe that when we work from home and we. Have our computers around us, our laptop or our phones. We're always on call with our business and we have to be responding to everything as fast as possible. And it last year when everyone started to transition from home to home to work.

[00:08:18] Oh, God, God bless them because it's, it's hard. I've been working from home since I was 21 years old and I'm 30, 37. And I remember thinking or hearing a lot from people how hard it is to work from home and having that freedom and how. Okay, well, maybe I should just go and make some dinner, get ahead with dinner and laundry and the, let me quick watch this.

[00:08:41] And then pretty soon, your whole day has gone ahead of you. It's almost like too much freedom. No one knows what to do with that. And that's why it's so important to have that structure in your business or right off the bat. So when you do transition, you know what you're supposed to be doing, because we know that if we give ourselves eight hours to get.

[00:08:58] A blog post written will take eight hours, but if we give ourselves two hours, we'll get it done in two hours as to really being diligent with your time. What, how are some ways that you structure your time balancing all the things that you have going on?

[00:09:12] Nefateria: So of course, I start with the list at night.

[00:09:14] So I look at. I look at my calendar, what has to be done this week. Right? Because we all get those things like, oh, I gotta do this. Oh, I gotta do this. Oh, don't forget about this. But I'll take a look at my calendar and see what's coming up in the upcoming week and what has to be done to ensure that week is a successful week based on what is expected of me of that week.

[00:09:33] Then I look at each day and the night before and write about two or three things down that I want to accomplish in that. I also use the Pomodoro method and block out my time. So I focused on one task at a time for a block of time and get it done so that I don't have so many irons in the fire say, okay, to your point, if I'm going to write my blog posts, I'm going to lock this time to write it.

[00:09:57] And that's what I'm gonna focus on. But other things come to my mind that I need to do. I just jot them down so they don't take up any of my creative space, but I get, as they focus on the task at hand, until it's coming.

[00:10:10] Lindsay: I love that there's so many ways to manage your data. So I always ask everyone how they do it because it's always different and we can always pull from different things that people say.

[00:10:20] So I think that's really cool that you you block your time and your, your you honor your time. It's not like you're being hard on yourself. You honor your time. Cause you know, you can't buy it. Right, right. So when we talk about I'm reading your bio right now, and this says, get clear on whom they serve and how they serve, get confident in their sales skills.

[00:10:38] That word sales brings up the, the goosebumps. And so many people, especially new coaches who are listening and they haven't gone on a discovery call yet with a potential client. And the word sales is scary because they don't want to ever want to feel like they're selling. Can we talk about.

[00:10:55] Nefateria: Absolutely.

[00:10:56] Absolutely. So one I would want for your listeners to reframe how they think of selling, think of selling as helping don't think of it as you're, you know, taking money from somebody's kid or, you know, you're robbing them or anything like that. What you have to offer can change somebody's health, wealth, or whatever service that you have and how it transformed somebody's life.

[00:11:20] Then it's your obligation to offer the opportunity. If you see that they are in pain, we as women do that for everything. Right. So if we're in the grocery store and the person in front of us say they have a headache, we're digging out first trying to get something to relieve them of the headache. If they need a pen, or if they're a penny short, we're digging in our pockets to give them that penny, except for when it comes to selling our service, we want to shrink back and we don't need to.

[00:11:46] We all are salespeople. We don't think of it that way, but we are. You convince your children to go to bed at a certain time, or to eat the vegetables. You convince your husband to go to this state house over that same. So we're always selling. We just don't look at it like that because it's not always an exchange of money, but I just want your listeners to start to look at it as helping.

[00:12:06] And if a person that you can help is in pain and they're sharing with you, the pain that they're experiencing, you can help them. It's your obligation to offer the opportunity.

[00:12:16] Lindsay: Hmm, I love what you said. It's your obligation. And I always tell my students and clients get the dollar signs out of your eyes.

[00:12:23] People can see those, and that's why you are deflecting people away from you. Go and be in your business with the attitude of I'm serving people and helping people. That's my job. Not, I need to make sales. I need to book clients because that puts you in the feast and famine mode. I think we can smell that from a mile away online.

[00:12:43] Now it's easy to pick up on that. People just want help. And that's why they're, that's why they're looking as are they're spending hours upon hours and days on Google trying to find the answer. Yes. So your book, how to activate your faith, commit to a plan and take action. Tell us about the.

[00:13:02] Nefateria: So for the longest time, I personally was a person that, you know, I would just be a planner one day someday.

[00:13:09] You know, I have all these books of ideas or notebook, paper, or word documents of ideas. And I think. Would not act on it. It just looks so good on paper, right. It just the whole planning in and out and imagine it and putting it on my vision board and all of that was like, Ooh, actually acting on those things.

[00:13:29] No longer planning to act, but acting on those. Because clarity comes through action. And by me saying, okay, you know what, all of these things that I have desired at some point in life, I'm going to give it a try, whether I fail or not, whether I succeed or whether I decide, oh, this is not for me. I'm going to start acting on some of these things because they got to get off this paper.

[00:13:51] They got to get out of my. Right. So that's how that came about. I really wanted people. If you were a planner like me and you always said, one day, someday, you've been a box checker, all your life, done, all the quote unquote right. Things. And you it's time for you to take a risk on yourself. You know, whether that is take a risk on yourself and start your business, or whether that's, you know what I always wanted to learn, fill in the blank and you go and try that.

[00:14:15] So I just really want people to stop planning to act, but act on their plan. Why

[00:14:20] Lindsay: do you think it's so attractive to be the planner and, you know, highlighting everything and making everything pretty? Why do you think it's so scary to take it off of paper and actually act on it though,

[00:14:35] Nefateria: because while it on paper and it's how it's working, it works two plus two equals four.

[00:14:44] And the only person that has to only person that's given you feedback as you, but when you take that idea and put it out there, there's people that have an opinion. There's people that say, no, I'm not interested. There's, you know, well, who do you think you are? It's all these things that's gonna pop, could possibly come up against you.

[00:15:02] And you have to be ready or learn or get some more personal development so you can handle when those things happen. But as long as it's on paper and you're the only one judging it, you're the only one saying yes. And you don't only want to give yourself a high five. It's easy just to keep it on paper.

[00:15:18] Lindsay: It's safe to keep it on paper. And sometimes we can just have notebooks after notebook of all these brilliant things that again, could help and serve someone else. But you're, you're doing them a disservice by hiding it from them. It's like saying standing in front of the world and saying, I have all the answers for you, but I'm not telling anybody.

[00:15:37] And you're just going to keep on writing in your little cute notebook. And that's not helping anybody. That's not why we're here. And I think the biggest thing is. We think that we're in this sea of everyone, who's doing the same thing as we are, because those are the people we're surrounding ourselves with online.

[00:15:54] And that's not true. There is a large group of people for everybody. And I think that if God plants that seed in your mind to create your business, to grow your business, and you can see yourself working with people and having a successful business that he didn't put that there. To trick you, he put that there because he believes that that's, what's there for you and you have to trust the process of how long it's going to take for you to get there.

[00:16:21] It's not going to be in 90 days, you're going to have a successful thriving business. It might, they might be longer than that. I remember hearing give yourself three to five years and that made me feel really good. It didn't discourage me. It made me feel good. And it made me feel like, okay, I got the time to figure this out.

[00:16:39] Why do you think people are rushing their success so much and giving up so quickly?

[00:16:44] Nefateria: That's a great question. I think sometimes if you believe that God has led you this way, you just feel like it should happen instantaneous, because I'm doing what God told me to do. I'm being obedient. So yes. And 90 days I should have a successful thriving business.

[00:16:57] Why wouldn't I I'm a God's girl. He loves me. I love him. I'm doing what he's telling me to do. Wow. And to your point. Yes. Even though you may be led to start a business through your relationship with God, that's what he's told you to do. That's your purpose. It doesn't mean that it's going to be an overnight success.

[00:17:14] And I think not enough people shared to your point that it takes three to five years. Right. You know what, if you change niches, what if you, you know, get a different skill set that you prefer to do, you know, differently. So there's a lot of. A lot of people not let you know the real thing. Like somebody was honest with you and say, you know what, it's going to say.

[00:17:34] I don't care what you see online, or I don't care what you read. It takes three to five years that took some of that pressure off for you right now, as you're getting to the three to five year mark, you might say, okay, if, if it's not doing what it needed to be doing, and I need to get some additional coats and I need to re-look at some things, but in your first three weeks, You're not like, oh my God, I can't believe this is not working, but somebody had already let you know, it's going to take three to five years.

[00:17:58] Lindsay: So I just think it's true. If it is a hundred percent sure that it takes a while.

[00:18:04] Nefateria: And I think people get give up because they have bought into how it's being presented. You know, make six figures in six weeks, you know, be a millionaire just a year. Whatever, and I think they have bought into it. And so when they see it's not happening, then it's like, this is not working.

[00:18:25] They're going to give up.

[00:18:28] Lindsay: Well, there's so many catchy little things, like make a thousand dollars in 21 days, then you can manifest it. And I was thinking, well, I'm not telling God that I need 20 in 21 days. I better get a thousand dollars or else I'm not a right.

[00:18:43] Nefateria: Me neither.

[00:18:46] Lindsay: No, I think that we are so attracted to the.

[00:18:51] Of entrepreneurship that we don't know everyone's backstory truly. When did they start their business? Their first business. That's how long they've been doing this. And I guarantee you it's been a long time. You, for some reason, we think the minute we discover somebody online, that's when they started.

[00:19:10] And we have no idea how. Taking them to get to where they are. So I think it's really important to be transparent with how long we've been doing this, how long it took you to book your first client, how long it took you to do this, because it makes people feel more at ease. Then the problem that comes to me a lot is okay, but I don't have a job to support me as I'm building my business because they'll compare themselves with how I built mine, because my, my nine to five helped me build my business.

[00:19:39] I'm being honest with that. So, what do you tell people when they're, when they're just starting entrepreneurship? When they're not the parallel, when it printer,

[00:19:51] Nefateria: I tell him to get a job. I tell him to get a job. A job is it's nothing wrong with a job to your point. Yes. Jobs support us. If your husband is still working and you're working your business, full-time a job is supporting. As well as what your business has been able to do support. So I say, get a job.

[00:20:11] There's nothing wrong with that. It's nothing wrong with building a business while you have having a job, it's nothing wrong with, if you have to quit the business or stop the business and get a job and just focus on working to rebuild your finances or to take care of your house, that's been a responsible adult.

[00:20:25] That is what you're supposed to do. That is grown woman stuff.

[00:20:29] Lindsay: I need to record that and just have that out there. And when somebody asks me, I'll just hit play, listen to Nefateria and. Get a job,

[00:20:39] Nefateria: that's it? It's just that simple. Get a job.

[00:20:43] Lindsay: Yeah. Why, why is there so much shame around balancing both things and.

[00:20:49] That was something that was so scary to me was letting people know that I do both. And then when I started to be honest with that with myself and letting go of the quit, your nine to five shtick, that's out there. I decided I'm going to let people know that I also have a nine to five and I have a successful business and I homeschool my kids.

[00:21:08] So. I have a full plate if I can do this. So can you, and that can uplift other women to know that they don't have to choose between their kids, their career, their business, their dreams. You can do all of it if you're really honoring your time and how you're spending it. It's true. I'm living proof. And I had a student once who.

[00:21:28] Really wanted to be a part of or she, before she became a student, she really wanted to be a part of everything that we had going on. So she went and got a part-time job, so she could save up and be a part of it. And like you said, that's what being a responsible grown woman does. They'll take care of themselves.

[00:21:44] I know it can be easier said than done. But it's true. It will relieve the pressure off your business. And it will take away that desperation that I need to book a client right now because I have no money coming in. And you're just going to sound like that. Every time you put something out there online, do you agree?

[00:22:00] Totally. I don't think that it's fair to you to have that stress of building your business either you're going to rush the process and you're not going to trust it. And I think the most important advice that I can give anybody is to trust the process. Your journey is not going to look like anyone else's and you really have to be okay with that.

[00:22:20] What do you say to the people who are constantly comparing their journey to someone else?

[00:22:25] Nefateria: Stop it

[00:22:29] just stop it. Right. I, and I, and I say that like that with all boldness and confidence, because, you know, think about sometimes when your children are the little people that hang out with you you know, if they just keep acting up at first, you might try to negotiate or try not to let them see it your way.

[00:22:43] But at some point you just like, you know what, stop it hand, chopping your hand, you know, serious space. Stop it. We all do it. We all have done it. We may continue to do it, but reason why I'm saying stop it. It's not serving you to continue to look to your left or to look to your right or compare yourself to anyone else, stay in your lane, trust your process.

[00:23:08] Trust God has blessed you to do what you do. There are people that can only receive what you have to offer from you, even if the person to the left and right offers the exact same thing. Just stop it. Stay in your lane and trust the process. God got you.

[00:23:25] Lindsay: Yes. Yes. We need to have more faith than that. Not I just posted something to Instagram and it's about having faith over fear.

[00:23:33] Fear is not going to allow you to grow your business. It's not going to faith comes from something completely opposite. So, or fear comes from something completely opposite of faith. I'd rather have faith than fear. No matter, you know, sometimes days can be a little scary or you're not sure how. Big thing is going to end, or we don't know anything really.

[00:23:55] I don't know what's going to happen in a half hour, but I trust that I'll be fine. And I think I'd rather run my business that way and I'd rather run my life that way then the opposite. Absolutely. Such a good conversation. And I really want, I really want to record some of your moments, get a job, stop it.

[00:24:13] Those are great moments.

[00:24:16] Nefateria: Thank you.

[00:24:18] Lindsay: Because it's so true. And sometimes we just need somebody to really shake it out of us and come, come to grips with the reality and you can do this and you have to do it your own way and not everyone else's. Do you have any final words for coaches who are just starting in your growing their business?

[00:24:34] And they're probably balancing all the things.

[00:24:36] Nefateria: Respect your business on or what God has told you about your business and start acting on it.

[00:24:46] Lindsay: So good. I think we should all remember that respect or. It's not just a little thing. It's, you're not playing office. I remember feeling that way too. When I first started, I felt like I'm playing office and just spending money on random things, because I know my coaches are feeling like this is just an expensive hobby at this point.

[00:25:04] And if they don't get a client within the next 30 days, they're quitting and I don't want you to quit. I want you to respect your idea and allow it to grow. I always tell my mothers who are growing their. You didn't stand over your toddler and tell them to hurry up and grow because you're, you're impatient with how fast they're growing, right?

[00:25:27] No. So why are we doing that to our business? We created it to, so don't treat it that way.

[00:25:34] Nefateria: Yes, that's good.

[00:25:35] Lindsay: Yeah, why don't you go ahead and tell everyone how they can find you and hear more words of wisdom from you.

[00:25:42] Nefateria: So you can connect with me on all social media platforms at Nefateria Fonda’. And if you're interested in getting some assistance with your sales, you can go to bit.ly/bookwithnef and select the services.

[00:25:56] Lindsay: Amazing. Thank you so much for being on here. This was such a great conversation. Make sure everyone you go and follow her on social media and go check her out. She has just a great spirit that kind of makes me feel empowered to help others even more. So thank you again for your time. I am so grateful for.

[00:26:15] Nefateria: It's been my pleasure. Thank you.