We all know that showing up online is important, but how do you do that when you feel intimidated, nervous, or maybe you just don't feel ready?

On this episode of the Book Your Dream Clients podcast, I'm chatting with Kadidja Yansane all about how to be more visible as a coach so you can market yourself authentically.

Kadidja Yansane is the Founder of BloomIntoYou.com & the Creator of the signature program: “The Client Creation Queen: 8 Weeks to Get Clients, Get Paid & Live Your Sacred Calling.” She's helped her clients do things like: Get their first $10K month, get their first & next paying clients, create and develop their profitable niche, lead their first workshops, start and grow their own communities, charge more for their services, and position themselves as experts. Last but certainly not least she is the proud Mamapreneur of two {Naima-7 and Khalil 5) with her partner Mike. They live in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Free Gift The Ultimate Guide to Client Creation --> https://www.manifestclientsnow.com/guide/

Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00] Lindsay: Kadidja, thank you so much for being on the book, your dream clients podcast. I'm so excited to have you on today. 

[00:00:44] Kadidja: Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to talking about. 

[00:00:48] Lindsay: Well, I think the word visibility has been on our minds ever since we started our coaching businesses. I remember that was something huge.

[00:00:55] It still is. It's always coming up. How do we get visible? How are we going to get people to see us and hear us and learn from us? Because we have that huge desire to just. Everyone we want, we know that we have the skills to do it, and it's almost like if people would just see what I do, then everything will start moving for me.

[00:01:13] And I think this is a great thing to build off of with Kadidja, because she's going to help us. How can we get more visible? How can we get more confident to even be visible? Because there's a lot of people out there. And it can kind of phrase us a little bit and make us not want to be visible. I know that's a thing.

[00:01:32] I see that a lot with, with my coaches being afraid to actually be visible. So they stay stuck in the creative mode, in the learning mode. So we're going to dig, dig into all of those things. But first we need to learn a little bit more about Khadija. So why don't you go ahead and tell us a bit about yourself?

[00:01:48] Kadidja: Yeah. So visibility is the topic. I'm just so glad that we're talking about this and. The first thing I want to say is that if you have fear around being visibility, it's completely normal. I always share that Lindsay. The first picture I had of myself on Facebook was literally a picture of my back. I'm not even kidding.

[00:02:09] And it was, if you didn't know me, you would not know that it was me. And so sometimes, you know, people in my community, they look at me and just assume that visibility is so easy and it hasn't always been. It's something that we choose and can get more comfortable with my name's Kadesia. Like you said, I'm a business coach at bloomin' t.com.

[00:02:33] And my signature program is the client creation queen program, because I believe that we create clients and part of the path of entrepreneurship is stepping inside of our leadership and it looks different for every woman, but I use the word queen to. To express you stepping inside of the power. You step inside of your leadership, you stepping inside of your visibility.

[00:02:59] And I work with my clients in the program to step inside of their visibility package. Their expertise always said that I would've never thought that I would be a business coach. Like that just was not, I did not see myself as a. But in hindsight, I see all of these entrepreneurial attempts. I remember in college that I bought an Avon kit.

[00:03:28] I never did anything with it though. I never did anything with it, but I remembered like speaking with a woman, it was so excited about like, I'm going to have my business. And over the years, like I joined. I guess they call them multi-level marketing. But like, I, I thought I wanted to sell jewelry. I was always interested.

[00:03:48] You know, if you always have a friend who's like, come check out this opportunity and you're in a room with all these people. And then when at a certain point, I thought that I wanted to become a therapist and learned about coaching and was really just inspired by learning about our potential as human beings.

[00:04:06] And that's what I thought of when I thought about the coaching track. I got my certification and went through an incredible program that taught me the skills to be a good coach, but they didn't teach me how to market and sell my services. So several years went by again until I, I picked up my coaching business again.

[00:04:28] And so I really had to learn the skill of putting myself out there. Some clients are really comfortable with. Yeah. They might not necessarily use it for business, but feel good. Being visible and other clients are reticent to use social media and I completely get it. And that's of course not the only way to be visible, but I always share that.

[00:04:57] I feel like it's, it's a journey of just feeling allowed to own your voice and share who you are. And. And grow your confidence. Cause I often feel like your business has an opportunity to become more of who you are. 

[00:05:14] Lindsay: Oh, I love that our businesses aren't opportunity to become more of who we are. And I really appreciate that you shared your story.

[00:05:21] We have a lot in common Kadidja because in college I wanted to sell some makeup too. And I remember I had a friend in college who was selling. Mary Kay. And I was like, well, I don't want to sell what she sells. So I decided to sell a different brand and I did the same thing. I got the starter kit and all the hype about, you know, starting everything.

[00:05:43] And then I was like, well, I don't want to like go out and sell this. Like, I just want people to come to me. Exactly. I mean, this was 20 years ago and. And I did all the MLM things too. I sold, you know, healthy spices and food and all kinds of stuff. We have that inner blood that we just like, we want to do something, but we had to take the steps to figure it out.

[00:06:05] Right. And then we started our online business. The Facebook picture. So funny that you said that I've never heard anybody even talk about that. What was your first Facebook photo? I remember mine was like my son when he was a baby. Cause I was, you know, that was 12 years ago. That was Facebook first came out and I'm like, I'm not going to put a picture of myself on there.

[00:06:26] That's 

[00:06:26] Kadidja: weird. And people still do. I know, but like have a picture of their cat or they won't have a picture of themselves or they're not looking at the camera. No, 

[00:06:38] Lindsay: you're not aware of that. How, how important that is? I remember coach telling me, have photos of you looking at the camera. And I was like, why, why would I want to do that?

[00:06:47] That's crazy. And now when you think about, you know, those little mind battles that you had in your head, you forget about those things, but there are people going through that right now. Have, you know, changing their, simply changing their profile picture on social media so they can step into the coach that they want to be, or just showing up in a post or a video.

[00:07:06] Why is it so hard to be visible today just as it was, you know, 12 years ago? I think it's still difficult. Why is that so hard to step into that as a business owner? 

[00:07:17] Kadidja: Well, I think that when you start your business or grow your business, you're like faced with all these feelings that you have about yourself.

[00:07:23] And so. Maybe you feel uncomfortable with the way you look or you feel like you can't have, you're not happy with the picture and you're waiting to get the perfect picture to put up there. I see sometimes people will have their logo as their photo. And the truth is, is as a service-based entrepreneur, they're having a relationship with you, whether it's private coaching or group coaching.

[00:07:45] You want to be able to put a face to the name of the person that, that you would be working with, but again, it's, it could be possible. It's self-criticism but then it's also worried about how. We'll proceed. You, you know, I know I had this thing, like anytime we make a change in our lives, you're worried that like, oh, so you're a coach now.

[00:08:06] Oh, so you're a vegan now. Oh, so you don't just, you stopped drinking alcohol. I remember when you used to do this. And so being able to give yourself that grace to, to change and grow, and that's why it's critical to be around people who are on a similar journey, because when you're doing it together, one of the things that I would notice in my women's groups, People would be so amazed.

[00:08:29] Like they were thinking that they were alone in the thoughts that they were having. And then just the simple fact of seeing other people being like, I have a similar worry breaks something, and then they realize like, oh, I'm I'm, I'm human it's it's okay. But part of the visibility piece that's so terrifying is like a fear of rejection.

[00:08:52] Are people going to want to buy your services? Are you, are you good enough at what you do? Maybe if you're new, maybe you feel like you haven't had enough experience under your belt to step into this new role of entrepreneur. But the only way to do that is to step into the new role and get the experience.

[00:09:13] And if you're feeling uncomfortable, having the support. I mean, I know some of my early groups, I always had a, one of my dear friends there with me. And if I worry that no, who was going to show up, I at least I knew my friend was going to be there. And of course people did show up, but I, I always have taken steps with other people, whether that was a friend or a program or a coach.

[00:09:40] And I remember, so we were talking, I don't know if it was on here before. That's so my daughter is eight and when I was pregnant with her, that's when I took my first online program. I like, I was not very much on social media. And then I, I saw this program, I joined the program and I would listen to her videos and it was so inspiring, you know, and like just hearing her validate the fears, the doubts, and here she is.

[00:10:09] She was a very successful coach and it really inspired me that I could take those next courageous steps. So that's a long winded way of answering your question about why people are so afraid, but I think that it's rejection. Our own doubts, your own doubts that you're having about yourself and your ability to, to step into this new role, which is normal, but there's a part of you that signing up for this.

[00:10:37] Yes. To do the work you love, yes. To increase your income, but also to grow as a person and really, you know, be in your, in your confidence, be in your leadership. So that there's a huge opportunity to step into. 

[00:10:53] Lindsay: Every day it's it's and it's a choice we have to make, because there's a lot of, there's a lot of people doing what you do and what I do and what she does.

[00:11:03] And I always say, if you're not being yourself, you're just sitting in a sea of beige and trying to be like everyone else. But what if you decided to be. Khadija. And I decided to be Lindsay and I did it my own way. And you did it your way and we'll turn her on people. Right. Speaking as somebody who was afraid of her own shadow, growing up on, I hated talking in front of people and I was terrified to do anything like that.

[00:11:31] It made me feel like, okay, who are you really trying to be here? You know that you're going to have to, you know, talk to people you don't know online and be somebody. Someone who I grew up with is going to think there's no way she would do that. But there comes a point where you surround yourself with other people and you decide to make it.

[00:11:52] You make a choice. You're either going to let the people around you intimidate you from going for. Or you're going to let the people around you inspire you to move forward and see what's possible. And I think that's a big mindset switch because otherwise we're always in that scarcity mindset where while she has this and she has the numbers and she, her house is better than mine.

[00:12:15] And we can nitpick the crap out of things and make us feel like we're not good enough. 

[00:12:20] Kadidja: Right. And I, I totally relate to what you're saying, because I had this relationship with public speaking while at the same time, I always wanted to be a speaker and in front of people. And I mean, I feel like I'm a teacher at heart, but I would feel terrified about public speaking, but the interesting thing, it was an internal thing that would happen, but only people who were really close to me could maybe pick up on it.

[00:12:48] But I really had to. Change my relationship to it because I would literally feel, I'm like, oh my gosh, why did I sign up for this Lindsay? Why am I doing this? I feel like I want to throw up and I would do it and I'd feel high and be like, oh, this was amazing. And then I really had to, I mean, of course I did, you know, I did, I tried doing EFT.

[00:13:07] I tried, you know, meditating beforehand, all of these things, but I think a big thing was me reframing what I was calling fear too. I'm excited. Yeah. Cause, cause it occurs as though, you know, like you said, the people with the huge following or the beautiful branding, like they must have it all together.

[00:13:27] They seem not afraid when in fact maybe they're just willing to be courageous. Like I've never, I've never worked with anyone either as a client or colleagues or that, that has not, that don't have the human. Emotion or maybe they're calling it something different of like feeling a lot of energy when they do something new and being able to reshape, reframe their relationship to it.

[00:13:57] And now I wouldn't say that I never get nervous, but I, but I, but I embrace it. And it's not a place where I contract. Like I'm, I'm, I'm open to feeling that way. Whereas before that feeling would. You can bring your fear with you and shoes. You use the word, choose and choose that you're going to be courageous.

[00:14:18] But then also, you know, sometimes we're afraid because we don't know. And maybe it just means we need to learn some skills, right? Like maybe you just really need to learn how to market, or you need to learn how to sell, or you need to learn a strategy that's different than. I'm using my hands that you got to, but I would put that in, in one category of like, okay, I'm feeling afraid or insecure because I don't know something.

[00:14:44] And then being willing to like, okay, what do I need to learn here? What actions do I need to take? And oftentimes we learn by doing, sometimes people think that they need to, you know, get the fear gone, then take the action. It's like, it's amazing how taking particular actions will. We'll be a quick track to breaking through that, that fear.

[00:15:09] Lindsay: I love how you said that. It's so important to note that if you take a look at the things that you're afraid to show up for in your business, and for me, I see a lot of people afraid of showing up on social media, Instagram in particular they know how important it is to their business, which I think, you know, we put way too much stock into social media in my mind.

[00:15:30] But anyways, I agree. Well, let's say. Terrified to post on Instagram or a story or a goal live and reframing it into, well, maybe you're afraid because you don't know a lot about the platform. Or maybe you're afraid to dive into the money aspect of your business because you don't know how to manage it.

[00:15:53] Well, you don't know how to take care of it and use it for your business. All the fears that we have. I think it's because we lack education on how to make it work for us. In particular, we all have personal things that we need to. Push into this, right? So for, you know, social media, cause I know everyone is obsessed with, you know, showing up on Instagram and what overwhelms me more than anything is people putting too much stock into it, thinking it's the only way to grow their business.

[00:16:23] And it's not, I really wish that we would knock that off. I think showing up is fine. But making it your own way is more important than trying everything out there. And it's so overwhelming for people right now. We're trying to be visible with everyone's shouting in their face. I mean, if you have your sound on, on your phone and you're scrolling through, it's do this, do that, do this, do that.

[00:16:45] And it's, I got to delete this out because it is it's killing my head. Everyone is telling me what to do. Everyone has their own theory. I can't imagine stepping into this world right now with all of the stuff that is completely shouted into you. I mean, when I started it was blog posts, you know, I could sit there and read them.

[00:17:03] And now everyone's yelling at you telling you what to do. Can you imagine? 

[00:17:07] Kadidja: Oh my God. Yeah. I started with a meetup. I literally was doing a woman's circle and in my, in my living room and it was, I loved it cause I love. You know, gathering people. I love circles. I love speaking. And that's how I started with a few people in my living room.

[00:17:29] And I remember one time in the early days when I was starting, that I had a class, a circle happening at seven 30. I was sitting there in this yoga studio by myself and no one was there and I've told myself that I'm going to sit here during this time. I think it was like 7 30, 2. Nine 15, just as a sign to like tell the universe that I'm serious, that I I'm going to hold this space until clients come, not just for that day, but in general, but 15 minutes later, a woman walked in.

[00:18:03] And Lindsay, I'm thinking, she's thinking like, oh my God, this is, this is the sucky meetup. No, one's here. She was really happy that she had me all to herself and she actually ended up being a client. And so I often think to people like, well, how many clients do you actually want? Is it one, is it three? Is it 10?

[00:18:22] Because one person came and one person signed up and I think in the land. Of social media and we can get distracted by likes and comments and numbers. When you really want to get grounded into like, how many clients, how much income do you actually want to make and how much do you need to actually do that?

[00:18:45] And I think it's always better to lead with. What you feel drawn to do? Are you more of a stupor? Are you more of a podcast or do you prefer interviews? Do you want to be on video? Do you prefer to write and lead from that place versus, you know, what's the thing that's going to get me there that I see everyone doing.

[00:19:05] I think that's a really quick path to, to burn out and not enjoying your business. And I know you you're, like you said, is your launch, your dream business, create your dream business. And so if the dream is doing something you don't want to do, that's not the dream. And so I think that we got into business in the first place because we really wanted to express something that was true to us and serve in the ways that we truly feel called.

[00:19:33] And I think that that includes how you choose to be visible. It has to start with. How you, you know, what platforms do you feel drawn to? How do you want to express and choosing an outlet that way versus the other way? 

[00:19:51] Lindsay: Well, I think you're going to draw in dream clients by choosing your dream medium of showing up, or do you agree?

[00:19:59] Kadidja: I absolutely agree. Otherwise it's not the dream. Exactly. 

[00:20:03] Lindsay: Well, how, what's your favorite way to show up and be visible on the. 

[00:20:08] Kadidja: I love to teach. So I would say video it's ironic because I like a lot of things. I also love to write. But I found for me initially, writing felt longer than video, but I still write down some.

[00:20:25] For myself. And so any kind of teaching. So whether that's in person teaching or online teaching, and that com you know, I do videos, I do webinars. I love retreats. I kind of, I know I've lived in listing three things, but the idea is that I love to, I love to share and teach. Speaking in that way, whether it's on a platform, whether it's on alive or webinar is, is, I would say my number one, but I also enjoy, right.

[00:21:00] So I do. I do create posts that I feel like are creative because I also like to write, but I do know people who don't like to write. So I feel like I'm not answering your question in the sense that I'm like, I like boats, but it's what 

[00:21:15] Lindsay: you would like to do now. I didn't start out. You know, the first time you showed up online, you weren't like I'm going to do a webinar and I'm 

[00:21:22] Kadidja: going live.

[00:21:24] That's true. I'm glad that you said that. Okay. So when I first started. I think I started with posts on social media. I did not do video first. I did post and I didn't use pictures of myself. I used, I used stock photos for the longest time. Like I didn't even, I guess no one told me or said, you know, use pictures of yourself.

[00:21:44] So now I guess I use pictures of myself or pictures of events sometimes, you know, other events that I've had that aren't necessarily of me. But I think I started with posts online and then. Coach that I worked with, she encouraged me to start doing video, which is very scary, but my life, my first videos, which you probably can still see, like I was not even looking at the camera cause I didn't know, you're supposed to look at the camera.

[00:22:08] I was like looking at the screen. So the first thing I did was posts on social media, but they weren't the kind of post that I do now. So then the way that I was getting visible was, you know, I would share. On on different things, things that I was learning with clients clients successes. And I feel like now I I'm more share posts about my niche, but I would say when I started, it wasn't necessarily niche specific, but it helped me get in the habit of posting cause.

[00:22:44] Nervous to post. And I would feel afraid to hit that publish button, but I use stock photos. And cause I know now it's just like, you got people feel like they need to have a branded photo shoot before they post anything. And you absolutely don't know, you know, like there's so many. To you know, whether it's stock photos or, or gifts.

[00:23:05] I saw a really cute one that you did the other day, where it was so funny, the girls were walking down the hallway and you're looking at other people and she dumped into the garbage can. That was hilarious. Right? So like there's so many creative ways and people get stuck in feeling like they have to show their face.

[00:23:24] You can show your words, you can show stock photos, you can use Giphy. Like I saw you, you know, like. There's so many ways to, to be creative. And I think that your business is a creative endeavor, an outlet where you get to use your imagination and creativity, and you don't have to be doing everything that everyone else is doing.

[00:23:47] Lindsay: Ah, yes, that's it just makes me so happy to hear that because you don't have to express your creativity the way. One person does because it's successful for them. The reason why it's working for them is because they love doing it and it makes them happy and they enjoy putting it out there. Then they're not afraid.

[00:24:09] They're confident if you went live every day and that made you happy, that's going to work for you. It's it's that's, that's the point. It's not because this is going viral. You should do it. And if it fails, that means, well, you probably aren't good enough for this. That's not what this is. You have to find your own paintbrush or pencil.

[00:24:32] We all have different tools and you have to use, what is God gave you and what makes you happy? Otherwise, there's no point in this, if you're trying to do like everybody 

[00:24:43] Kadidja: else. No. And I think that we have seasons. Right. So there, I feel like there sees it, there was a season where I felt like I was doing regular lies and it's interesting, like in this season, like part of me feels like, I mean, I know we're kind of ending our pendant.

[00:24:59] Like I'm, I'm feeling back into my. Oh, I want to gather people in person. I don't know how soon that will be, but I think that you also can have seasons for things where, you know, maybe in this season, you're really interested in, in particular, you know, marketing tasks and later on, you might want to try something else.

[00:25:21] And that's the beauty of having your own business is that you can change and fluctuate. And sometimes people, one of the things that sets people back from getting clients is feeling like, okay, I see these other people doing this. And that means I can't put anything out until I have a brand photo shoot and I have this logo and I have this website when you could be getting clients, you know, in your.

[00:25:47] Immediate circle or, you know, hosting something yourself now. And so it, it really. So that's people back without even realizing it, just because they're watching what people, if you haven't seen the Giphy that Lindsay posted on her Instagram with the girl paying attention to what everyone else was doing.

[00:26:08] And she ended up in the garbage can. That's really funny. It was really. 

[00:26:12] Lindsay: It was posted on April 1st. You got to go see it. I think first cause it's so true that that's what's gonna happen. You're gonna fall. You're gonna fall and make a, you know, what of yourself, because you're not paying attention to where you're going.

[00:26:27] And I think that's a great way to wrap it up by seeing, I know that people listen to these episodes because they're like, oh, I'm going to get the three ways to do this. And then everything will explode for me. And then I would always kind of feel. I waited listening to episodes like this when I first started, because I just want someone to tell me what to do.

[00:26:46] Like, and that bothered me so bad. Cause I'm an action person. Like just tell me what to do and I'll do it. And then when it comes to, oh no, you got to work on yourself. You have to, you know, just feel confident. And I would always be thinking well, that's, that's a lame. We all know we should feel confident.

[00:27:04] Well, if you know that. You got to start working on it. And if you don't believe that you're competent enough, if you don't feel like you're good enough to be the coach that you claim to be on Instagram, start writing it down and affirm it in your brain. That's what affirmations are for. Write down, write on your, I help statement.

[00:27:22] Write down your Instagram bio. If you don't feel like you match up to that, write it down every day, several times until you start to believe that that's who you are and show up as that person. 

[00:27:33] Kadidja: Yes, so powerful. And I would say for those people, they're like, I just need some concrete tips, you know, like when it comes to visibility, like the fastest easiest thing to do is to share what you're up to, what you do, how you help people with the audience that you already have.

[00:27:53] And you can do that in a video format. You could do that in a written post. With your picture, does it have to be with your picture? But I would say that I recommend it with your picture and it doesn't have to be a branded photo shoot, but oftentimes I take pictures on my cell phone. If I'm already dressed up, like your cell phone can do amazing things, but I would say.

[00:28:16] Say hello world, whether that's on social media or to the people on your email world, whether you have an email list or not let them know what you do or what you're doing now, or how you're excited about it and how you can help people and invite them to have a consult with you. I would additionally say like, if you, if, even if you've already done that, that's something that you could do.

[00:28:41] Every couple of months, because you already, you're always gathering new people hopefully into your world. And then, you know, writing a list of. The top frequently asked questions. You get asked about your topic, begin to create content around that using the medium that you prefer, whether that's writing or video, or you host a class to offer some value.

[00:29:09] That's nice. Specific to your committee. 

[00:29:13] Lindsay: Now that's some concrete advice and tips, and I love that. And I think if you guys feel fearful about something in your business, educate yourself on it. And I think that Kadidja has a free gift for us. We have in the show notes, she does have manifestclientsnow.com/guide Why don’t you tell us about that.

[00:29:33] Kadidja: Yes, it's called the ultimate guide to client creation. And in it, I cover what I call the four M's of manifesting clients. And there's definitely. A confidence piece that we address ways to build your confidence. We also cover, you know, goal setting as it relates to client creation and how to put yourself out there in a way that feels authentic to you and your skills, not what everyone else is doing.

[00:30:00] And the initial steps you can take to begin monetizing. So I share. Framework to, to monetize and bring income into your business. So that guide is called the ultimate guide to client creation. Well, that 

[00:30:15] Lindsay: sounds right up our alley. So make sure you can definitely go and download that Khadija. How can everyone else find you online and see the work that you do?

[00:30:25] Kadidja: Yeah. My website is blooming to.com. I, and I say bloom into you because it's about doing it your way and being who you are, not me, not Lindsay or any of the people that you follow. I would say use people as inspiration to kickstart what you're doing, but you've got your own unique signature. I'm also. On Instagram with my first and last name, Kadesia young Sonny.

[00:30:50] And I'm sure there'll be here in the show notes. You can also find me on Facebook, same name and I look forward to connecting with you. 

[00:30:58] Lindsay: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us Kadidja. This was an awesome conversation and thank you to everyone listening. 

[00:31:06] Kadidja: Thank you Lindsay, for having me.